I’ve found that the grades involved in middle school are different everywhere. For me, middle school was 6-8th grade; however I know some are 5-8th or even just 7-8th grade. Regardless, I think middle school is often some of the worst years in our lives. Not only are you going through changes, but everyone else is too, and to make matters worse the changes are different for everyone. Middle school is like a whirlwind of puberty, homework, extracurriculars and just settling into what the next three or so years will be like. As easy as it is to feel isolated and like no one understands what you’re going through, I promise if you look around a room full of other middle schoolers, they are all thinking the same things you are. In other words: you aren’t alone!
You’ll find that your body has its own plan and you can’t do anything to stop it. For instance, I got my very first migraine in 6th grade – and they haven’t stopped coming around since. I was starting to notice my underlying anxiety disorder, I got my first period, my first zit and so many other middle school “firsts.”
I remember my mom being so laid back about my period or the first time I needed to shave. Except in my fit of embarrassment from a totally natural experience like shaving your armpits, I refused to let her help or teach me. The first time I shaved I was in the shower and didn’t use any shaving cream or soap, I wet the razor slightly, and then I basically dry shaved my armpits. As a kid you think to yourself how no one understands you, your life and what you’re going through. However, all adults (yes, even your parents) have been there and done that. It might seem strange, but they were once in middle school too. I like to think my mom and I were pretty close, but in reality, I fell into the same mindset of “oh, she’ll never understand!” I encourage you to set aside the possibility of things being awkward, and open up to someone: a parent, older sibling, best friend, doctor or even a guidance counselor.
Finding friends in middle school is never as easy as it was in elementary school. You stop walking up to random kids and asking “Will you be my friend?” Slowly you find yourself making friends and feeling almost a sense of relief; being able to sit next to someone at lunch. Believe me when I tell you that everyone is going through the same struggles of finding friends – some might just hide it better. If finding friends wasn’t hard enough, finding good and genuine friends is even harder. It wasn’t long before high school that I realized the kind of friends I had surrounded myself with. I slowly had to realize and come to terms with the fact that my two best friends in the whole world were the walking definition of toxic. I invested all my friendship into these two girls who didn’t even put that same effort in. These friends were constantly making fun of me, trying to change who I was, disregarding my experiences and gaslighting me. When I finally broke away from them I felt such relief. Breaking away was easier said than done. However, I was lucky enough to get to know one of my friends I had known since kindergarten. That girl I reconnected with is now my best friend and I couldn’t be happier. My point is: don’t feel so rushed to meet your BFFs, sometimes the person you least expect will end up being your BFF. Don’t be so hard on yourself if you find yourself in my situation; you will know deep down what’s best for you.
Everyone in middle school is going through their own hardships – whether at school, home or even both. You might find yourself being bullied or having rumors and gossip spread about you. As far as gossip and rumors go, I know its way harder than it sounds, but you have to just let them roll off your back. The way I think about it now is: if I know the rumor isn’t true, then that’s all that matters. If you’re worried your friends won’t like you anymore, I encourage you to think about how your true friends and family are always going to be by your side. If a friend would rather believe the rumors than trust you – that friendship isn’t one that’s worth keeping.
Homework in middle school proves to be way more difficult than elementary school. If you aren’t careful, you will find yourself drowning in assignments. I recommend doing a lot of color coordinating and writing in an assignment notebook or planner. Seeing everything I had to do written out next to each other helped me make sure I didn’t forget anything. I’m sure all schools have different policies for late work, but no matter the policy, a few late assignments isn’t going to be the end of the world.
In my middle school, they were constantly stressing to us that high school was going to be 20 times stricter. That was hardly the case. Sure the amount of homework increased, but all the little details they enforced didn’t even matter in my high school. In middle school when we had to grade our friends work, we were only allowed to use red pen. If we didn’t have one of our class materials, we got an “unprepared” (truthfully I don’t even remember what an “unprepared” entailed). We had to follow a very unfair dress code, and couldn’t even use the bathroom whenever we needed to. As a middle schooler, I was terrified of the consequences if I broke any of the rules. These rules also instilled a hovering sense of dread for high school. Fear not, high school is nothing like what your middle school teachers made it out to be. I mean, sure, your high school teachers want you to have all your materials and want you to have your homework done, but in high school, the responsibilities are put on you. You are finally out of that middle school phase where teachers expect you to act like an adult, but don’t even give you room to be an adult – and then complain about how childish you are. It is 100% okay to embrace your youth in middle school, I mean, you’re only 11-13 – you just became an actual teen rather than a tween.
All in all, middle school will be a challenge you’ve never faced before, but one of the biggest things you have to remind yourself of is that no matter how isolated you feel, there is always someone you can talk to. Put yourself out there, introduce yourself to the new kids, make an effort to talk to people you wouldn’t normally talk to. The most important thing I wish I knew going into middle school is no one is focused on your insecurities because everyone is thinking the same. You are the only person who is focused on your flaws. Go easy on yourself, you’re doing your very best.