“We Subconsciously Teach People How to Treat us Based on How we Respond”
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Have you ever felt that you were treated poorly by a loved one? Maybe it’s time you set a boundary. In all types of relationships, boundaries are needed to ensure that both parties feel respected and comfortable with the way they are being treated. Relationships work best when both people feel that their wants and needs are heard. It may be hard to confront this as an issue, especially if they have treated you wrongly before, but it’s never too late to set a boundary with someone. If you feel like you’re being too sensitive, you’re not! Your feelings are valid. To help guide you, here are five ways setting boundaries will strengthen your bond.
1. Advocate for yourself
In situations where you felt wronged but never had a conversation about it with the person who wronged you, you might have been left with feelings of regret and frustration. When we do have those conversations directly after we are left with feelings of reassurance and understanding. When you stick up for yourself in a situation, you feel proud for stating how you expect to be treated. You start to feel a weight being lifted off your chest and you feel more comfortable communicating your needs in the future. However, all this is easier said than done, so it’s best to take a moment to reflect on the situation and consider how it made you feel. This will help you know more about yourself and your own wants and needs for the relationship. Then, you can verbalize this to the other person and they can learn more about you too.
2. Learn about each other
After setting boundaries with a friend, family member, or romantic partner, you learn about their wants, needs, feelings and what they are comfortable with. Setting a boundary with another person teaches them about your comfort zone and how to avoid offending you. They won’t have to wonder what is wrong or be confused about if whether or not they have done something that hurt you. Once you establish how you expect to be treated, then there is no excuse for your partner disrespecting you.
3. become the best version of yourself
After you express your feelings and wants with the other person, you’ll be much more comfortable in your own skin. You’ll feel reassured by your partner and you will no longer fear that your boundaries might be crossed. You don’t have that heavy feeling throughout your day concerned about a conflict with the other person. You are able to think freely during your busy day. You have so many other things that you need to focus on rather than the “what-ifs.” Knowing that you and your partner can communicate freely, lets you know that if there was something wrong, you will know about it upfront.
4. better communication skills
Unfortunately, people can’t read minds. So, we have to verbalize how we feel in a way that the next person understands. Having these uncomfortable conversations with someone close to you is essential to strengthening your relationship. How is a person supposed to know how you think and feel when you have never told them before? Once you have this seemingly difficult conversation, you both will feel free to communicate more openly.
5. focus on the future
Setting boundaries can also be used as a test of your relationship. If you were to express how you want to be treated and the person continues to disrespect your wishes, they don’t deserve to be in your life. There is no room for excuses for someone who doesn’t care about your comfort in the relationship. Now, if you were to set a boundary with someone and they respect it fully, then you know that this person wants to be in your life and honors your feelings. This kind of person is an essential part to help your relationship grow.