Welcome back to “What’s On Your Mind”! This week, we will be focusing on what a mental health toolbox is, and how you can go about creating your own. One of the best ways you can support yourself when you are struggling with your mental health, and even when you are in a good spot, is having a set of tools at your disposal that you can turn to when you need it. Whether it is ways to calm yourself down from a panic attack or preventive care, it is important that you know what you can do to help yourself (and what works!), that way it is easier for you to do so when the moment arises. For instance, I know what helps me in a moment where I am flooded with anxious thoughts is writing them all out and walking through them, so that I am able to rationalize my thinking and move past it.
Thus, at the center of my toolbox is what I call my “anxiety journal.” I personally struggle with anxiety and love writing, so having a journal where I can write everything relating to my mental health has proven very helpful for me. Some of what is included in the journal, and what you can include in your own if you decide to create one, are thought logs, resources to turn to, tips and tricks for coping, and important information about anxiety and mental health. Beyond having a central and organized location for all of this, through journaling I am also able to compile a list of what I have found helps me. This will certainly take some trial and error, but once you find what works for you and truly helps you, those tools become invaluable for bettering your mental health and allowing you to support yourself.
Below are some of the tools in my toolbox, to serve as both a list of resources you can try out as well as a source of inspiration for how to build your own toolbox! It is important to keep in mind that I struggle with anxiety specifically, so many of the items on this list will cater to such. This simply serves to help you get an idea of where to start compiling your own tools and help you to understand what exactly “tools” can be. This list will look different for everyone because each person has their own unique conversation with themselves, which is why I encourage you to embrace your own conversation to really get to know yourself and how you can help yourself!
- Anxious Thought Logs
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One of the very first things I learned how to do in therapy was to write an anxious thought log. My therapist provided me with a template and helped me to form my own log through it. At its core, you write the following: the anxious thought, when you are experiencing it (time of day and the date), the emotion it causes you to feel, what was happening around you at the time, and finally a rationalization for it. By doing so, not only are you able to work through the thought and past it, but these logs also become a means of tracking your thoughts. Tracking your thoughts allows you to see patterns in the thoughts themselves, the time of day they happen, or in what is happening around you, which may help you to see what might be triggering the thoughts.
These also help me to move out of the “why” thinking in the moment; sometimes I get caught up in figuring out why I am feeling a certain way or thinking an anxious thought, and writing out a thought log allows me to let go of that for the moment and just focus on working through the thoughts and feelings themselves. Afterwards, I am able to look back through my logs for patterns and then consider why I may be experiencing these patterns. These logs are not foolproof though, as sometimes I am unable to think of a rationalization for the thought, leaving me stuck. This is precisely why I have a list of tools, not just one! If I try something on the list and it does not work, I am able to turn to other tools until I find something that does.
- Worry Trees
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Worry trees are another helpful way to work through anxious thoughts that I use often from my arsenal. The tree begins with an anxious thought or worry, which entails noticing the worry and acknowledging that you are ruminating on it. From there, you ask yourself whether or not this is something you have any control over, which is where the tree branches off into two options. If you have any kind of control over what you are worrying about, for instance on an upcoming assignment for class, then you can create an action plan. You can extend the tree down into two more branches, acknowledging what steps you can take and when. On one branch, there may be actions you can take right now and then you can let the worry go. On the other, you can schedule when you are able to take some action, and thus still let the worry go as you have a plan created to address it later on.
Taking action to actually address what is causing you worry, or planning when you will, can help to diminish that anxiety. On the contrary, if you have no control over your worry, there is nothing that you can do and thus it is undeserving of your mind’s time and attention. Acknowledging this allows you to let the worry go and redirect your attention elsewhere. Walking through the branches of the worry tree lets you see the thought process of working through worries so that you are able to get to the root of the worry and eventually let it go. Worrying brings attention to an issue or situation, and worry trees help you see whether that attention is necessary. If it is, you are then able to address it, and if it is not, then you can move on to what is deserving of your attention!
- Grounding Techniques
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An important tool in my toolbox are grounding techniques, as I conveniently seem to forget how to actually ground myself when I am most in need of grounding. Sometimes when I am feeling anxious or having anxious thoughts, I cannot focus on working through a thought log or worry tree. I first must ground myself in order to be in a solid enough headspace to be able to address the thoughts or feelings. It took me a long time to figure out what works for me, as there are many things that did not, such as the 5-4-3-2-1 technique. For that, you name five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, and one you can taste.
Some things that have worked for me are yoga, mantras, and ice cubes. I love yoga for reconnecting with my body, and focusing solely on my breath and the movement of my body helps to ground me to the present moment. For yoga, as well as meditation, it is important to feel safe in your body before trying it to ground yourself, which therapy can be helpful for! Mantras never used to work for me until I read from a psychologist that mantras only work if you believe them. You cannot just take any mantra you come across and expect it to work; you have to find a wording that you believe so your mind will be more open to it. Some of my favorites lately have been “fail forward” and “I am safe to feel ‘off’ because I will always return to balance.” The first is useful for me because I struggle particularly with failure, and it is short enough that I can repeat it to myself often with ease. The other I adapted from one I found on Instagram, so that I am able to believe it. Mixing and matching mantras is great to find that perfect balance that works for you. Ice cubes are great for when I feel a nervous reaction or panic attack coming on, since they redirect my attention quickly and effectively.
- Lists
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In my anxiety journal, amidst all of the anxious or negative thoughts I have logged, are several lists that I have bookmarked. The first is all of my “wins.” Growth regarding mental health is sometimes hard to gauge, as it often happens slowly and may be hard to see. This is why whenever I am able to actually see my growth, I write it down! That way I can always go back and read all of them whenever I am feeling stuck or discouraged. Even if it seems like a small step that you made, such as going to pick up your mail if you struggle with agoraphobia, it is a step forward and reflects your growth.
The next list I have is of comfort items or actions. When you are not feeling your best, be it sad, anxious, or just uncomfortable, it is helpful to have a list to refer to of things that make you feel comfortable and will help you return to balance. Here is a peek at my list: some videos by the YouTube channel Yoga with Adriene; evening walks down to the lake; an essential oil blend I like; stress balls; tea, smoothies, and chocolate milk; some of my favorite shows like Haikyuu!, Gurren Lagann, and The Great British Baking Show; baking banana bread since I know the recipe by heart; some albums like Being So Normal by Peach Pit or Circles by Mac Miller; and my favorite books The Song of Achilles and The Young Elites series.
Another list I use, though shorter, is of my support system. There are times I feel alone or need someone to talk to, and having a list of who I can rely on or reach out to is great for those moments. Beyond their name, I like to include a bit about what they have experience with or what topics they are particularly helpful with. For example, my mother is a great person to call if I need an ear to listen to a rant or a shoulder to cry on; my best friend is wonderful for insight into situations where I need advice or an outside perspective; and my boyfriend is a strong voice of reason when I am caught in irrational thinking.
Above all, I have one list called “My Tools,” which encompasses this article and much more! All of my coping mechanisms, tips and tricks, and resources that serve as my mental health tools in my toolbox are included in that list. Thus I am always able to refer back to it when I am in need of grounding, comfort, or support.
I strongly encourage you to try out making a list of what works best for you. Even if you do not enjoy journaling or it does not serve you, having a list of what you know can help you at your disposal is an important resource to have in order to support yourself and move towards a healthier mental space. In a moment of distress, for instance a panic attack, we are apt to forget what we can do to help ourselves, as our minds often become clouded in stress, worry, or another emotion and we feel as though we have no control over the situation. Though it may be discouraging at first as you come across tools that do not work for you, once you find the tools that do work, they are invaluable ways to ground yourself and regain control over your mind and mental health.