Like so many other women, I get so much of my advice, recommendations and ideas from influencers. With the growing popularity of New York City TikTok and Instagram influencers in Manhattan, moving to New York is no exception. While my friends and I still have a couple years left in our college journeys, we obsessively stalk New York influencers such as Kate Barlett, Brigette Pheloung, and Lauren Wolfe and their seemingly glamorous lives. While these influencers have been candid about their journeys to “making it” in the city, many others aren’t as transparent. The glamorization of the city life has fueled several misconceptions regarding life in New York City.
As a self-proclaimed Manhattan advocate, I am the first one to support anyone’s dreams to move to the city. Growing up, visiting annually and having my closest family in the city allowed me to see the beauty behind the trash-filled streets and rat-infested train stations. As I’ve gotten older, my perspective about NYC has matured. From spending summer days in Central Park blowing bubbles to, more recently, experiencing the East Village’s infamous bar scene, I wholeheartedly know that I will soon be a New York “transplant.” Transplants — residents who weren’t born and raised in New York — arrive in hundreds of thousands annually and many are quickly bombarded with the harsh realities of living in the city, realities that are easily hidden online.
Misconceptions of the city and its relation to mental health has become a widely debated topic on TikTok. At first it was an influx of videos highlighting women who moved to the city believing that their lives would mirror those of the influencers highlighted above. Then, it was locals hopping on to explain that ridiculous amounts of wealth would be required to achieve these dream lives. Now, it’s transplants sharing how exponentially better their lives have gotten after their big move. So which is it?
Here’s an answer you’ll hate: it’s all about perspective. After speaking to college students who’ve spent a majority of their lives in Manhattan, they agree on some of the tips and advice down below.
It’s a grind… but you can still have fun
If you’re getting all of your moving and living info from influencers and creators (especially those with much generational wealth and disposable income), it can be difficult to see how often and how hard everyone in New York is working. Corporate jobs and 9-to-5s demand more from you in New York — especially if you’re career-focused — which could potentially take away from the dream of extravagant dinners every night (not to mention that ridiculous price tag).
That said, we need to get rid of the idea that regular, everyday people can’t still be happy in NYC. “NYC is very expensive, yes, but you don’t have to live an expensive life,” Arianna, 21 and a senior at Barnard College, tells Her Campus. “With good budgeting skills, you can spend a lot less than what TikTok would have you believe.”
Arianna has lived in the city her entire life, and noted that a quick Google search can get you far when looking for college student-friendly activities in the city (that, yes, will make great Instagram or TikTok posts). “There are so many nice restaurants offering cheap brunch or lunch and happy hour drink deals,” she says. “College students usually get free or reduced prices for museums, as well as discounts for a lot of stores and often restaurants. There are a lot of free shows in the various parks. You don’t have to do a fancy brunch or stroll down Fifth Avenue.”
Be prepared for change
Remember that many of these influencers and creators have behind-the-scenes malfunctions, too. Everyone is putting their best foot forward on social media — especially if it’s someone’s full-time job — but that doesn’t mean they don’t have to go with the ebbs and flows of living in the city, too. It may hit you on your wild apartment hunt or as you deal with figuring out your neighborhood. Either way, Chloe, 21 and a third-year NYU student, sums it up best: “Be ready to adapt to whatever comes your way before deciding that the city life isn’t for you,” she advises.
Don’t set your expectations too high
Expecting your life to look like an episode of Gossip Girl or even an influencer’s feed will only build up expectations of what your life “should” look like in New York. In reality, your time in the city is what you make of it. Yes, if you have a corporate job, the days will be long and work could seem endless, but don’t be discouraged. Use your weekends and nights that you actually get off work on time to pursue whatever makes you feel like you’re living your best life in the city.
“My NYC, what I consider to be the ‘real’ NYC, are the people and experiences that you can only find here,” Arianna says. “Where else could I text my friend that I saw a guy getting onto the subway with a parrot on his shoulder? Or discover a hole in the wall restaurant that’s cash only with the best food I’ve ever had? To me, the city is the array of people and experiences you just can’t find anywhere else.” Subway parrots and tiny, cheap restaurants may not make the best social posts, but that’s the reality of NYC that will stick around after you forget that TikTok of a fancy rooftop bar you saw.
It probably sounds like I’m completely sh*tting on your New York dreams, but these are all good things to keep in mind as you think about making the big transition. Maybe it’s best to get off social media before you start planning your hypothetical life in a super-expensive brownstone in Brooklyn.