You love your boyfriend. You love your friends and family. But what do you do when they don’t seem to like each other? While the pressures overwhelmingly feel like they are all on you, fret not. There are simple things that can be expressed to both parties to ease tension. In life we are filled with an abundance of decisions from the exercises we motivate ourselves to perform to the guys we make out with in corners of parties. Yet a decision that shouldn’t faze you is who in your life to love more. As ridiculous as such a statement sounds that is often how you can feel if your man, family or friends are always at odds. Why the hardest part can be appreciation for all they try to do, it is a must. Appreciate the concerns they have for you out of love. Family is there to give you foundation and they don’t want weeds in your life ruining the flower they helped blossom. Friends’ roles in your life are similar. They are the water that gives you that needed hydration to get through life’s many stages. So remember when they interfere it isn’t to destroy your life. Yet an interpersonal relationship is between you and your boyfriend, not the rest of the people in your world. Gretchen Stark a Spanish junior said the best thing to do is to ignore outside sources.
Boyfriends are the first line of defense to break in gaining back your sanity from the constant tug of war. He is ideally the understanding one that “tries to change” or “make efforts” with your friends and family. If he wants nothing to do with fixing or creating a solid relationship with the people who raised you or the friends you’ve known for years, then ask yourself if he is the one you want at the annual family reunion. He most likely is not.
Your best friend or closest group of friends want to know what you are thinking, what is agitating you. We are an indefinite “have to know” culture. We feed off of what goes on in others peoples lives. There is nothing wrong with this. Our most basic acquired skills come from our human interactions and curiosities. So share with them the good and the bad, but also be honest when they cross the line. Michelle Katz, a business freshman said, “I would tell them how much I appreciate their opinions and I love that they care so much but in the end it’s my life so I can make my own decisions.” By letting your friends into every aspect of your relationship they become a permanent third wheel. Leave some secrets between just you two and in the event your friends continue to express negativity toward your boyfriend, reconsider sharing those personal details. Show them you are serious and mean business.
Family can be a tougher situation. If your parents or siblings don’t like the bf, then you need to begin to acknowledge the value of patience and time. For parents especially it takes time to trust an outsider with their little girl’s emotions, so cut them some slack. “I would have both my boyfriend and my parents work on getting along and mutually respecting each other because both sides are important to me,” said Ashley Cohen, a communications sophomore. Make arrangements for your boyfriend and family to spend time together. Let them see the positive and more importantly the reasons you enjoy his company so much. They will come around. After all as an adult, you reserve the right to be who are and date whom you please. Now, marriage is a whole different animal we will save for later!