College Girls & Commitment: To Settle or Not to Settle

Society has always depicted men as commitment-phobes and women as needy, sensitive, and unstable
without a man to cater to.  Take a closer look at the twenty-first century dating scene, particularly the college scene, and you will notice those stereotypes no longer apply.  Women are just as promiscuous as their counterparts. Their number one priority isn’t finding the next [insert your Prince William or Harry preference here] to marry and raise beautiful babies with.  It is earning their master’s, or even doctorate, degree before their MRS degree. 
           
Don’t get me wrong – marriage and children are still on the list for most of us, just a little further down.  The time and devotion it takes to earn a college degree, starting a successful career, and making a name for oneself before settling down requires a different approach to the dating scene.  It requires girls to date like boys.
 
Advantage: Variety
The more experience you have, the more prepared you are when a problem arises later on.  The more new things you try, the more you will discover about yourself and what you like and dislike.  Some of us are perfectly happy marrying the boy, the only ever boy, we caught our first case of cooties from at age five.  Some of us like to take several test rides before making our final purchase (Try and keep your thoughts G-rated here, ladies).  And since we are not living in the seventeenth-century Puritan era, this is totally acceptable!  Collect as many numbers as you can, kiss a boy you have no desire to see other than under a black light, and rename the guy you met last night “Justin-Bieber-haircut-boy” with your friends.  The more diversity you encounter in the dating world, the better the idea you will have of what you want your future husband to be like.
 
Disadvantage: Reputation
“Sometimes I feel I’m missing out on the fun of hooking up, but then I remind myself that I’d rather have a stable relationship,” says Amber*, a JMU freshman with a boyfriend at school back home.  “I have a lot of single girl friends though and it’s annoying that, because of double standards, they’re seen as slutty if they get around a lot.”  A boy hooking up with a lot of girls is viewed very differently from a girl hooking up with a lot of boys.  Just look at the movie Easy A.  Boys use Olive, Emma Stone’s character, to boost their reputations and in return, Olive uses boys to prove she has no problem watching her flawless reputation slip away.  It is an unfair world, collegiettes™.  Making out is fun but having people making fun of you?  Not so much!
 
Advantage: No Emotional Attachment
By now, you’ve all seen or heard of Love & Other Drugs, No Strings Attached, and the upcoming
comedy starring Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake, Friends with Benefits.  I’m sensing a pattern here.  Lately, the media has been producing movies about “relationships” with no obligations.  Sounds like real life!  Between studying and extracurricular activities, there’s not enough time for college girls to put into a relationship – or at least they think there isn’t.  Having a friend with benefits lets a girl have her cake and eat it too.  You find a boy you like, do the things you would do if you were a couple, but it has no title so you don’t have to feel guilty about forgetting to write on his wall for his birthday or flirting with that hot baseball player.  Not being official takes a lot of pressure off your shoulders.
 
Disadvantage: No Emotional Attachment
“I definitely agree that times are shifting for girls,” says Emma, a sophomore at JMU, “But I also think that now most guys are just as ready for commitment as girls are.”  So what exactly happens then when Mr. Right comes along?  Guys don’t want to play the field forever.  The only man that wants to do that is pushing thirty-two and has a nickname for his six-pack! Eventually, guys want to settle down too.  If we put up a rejection-prevention wall around our feelings, we will never get our hearts broken.  But we’ll spend forever waiting for the strongest, handsomest, smartest, tallest, funniest man who knows exactly how much Axe to spray and pre-ordered two front row Wiz Khalifa tickets before the system even thought about shutting down.  That day could never come, or simply pass us by, if we don’t take a risk, stop denying our feelings, and fall for someone.
 
Whether you choose to be committed to a guy in college or not, know that either way is perfectly acceptable!  We’re lucky to live in a time like this.  So if one of your girlfriends tells you she just got engaged, don’t tell her she’s rushing into marriage.  Think, “I’m glad she’s found what she’s always wanted in a guy!”  And next time you see another girl hooking up with a random guy at a party, don’t mutter a derogatory term under your breath.  Think, “Good for her, she’s learning!”

*name has been changed