What Ever Happened to Dating? Hold That Thought, I Just Got a Text!

You seem a little obsessive-compulsive lately, checking your phone every five minutes to see if you have a new message. And between those four minutes and fifty-eight seconds or so, your ‘re on Facebook seeing if he is online, idle, updated a status or posted a comment as your eye always draws itself back to that notifications box, waiting to see it turn red – just hoping it’s from him. After hours of this continual cycle, finally he gets in contact with you somehow and life is at ease again. But is this constant connection to others through a variety of different technologies really making us closer? What ever happened to dating anyway?
 
 

If you could relate to that anxious girl I just described up there, checking all of her notifications, buzzes, beeps and tweets for a sign of life from the same guy (or girl), over and over again, then I’m going to just say it – someone’s crushing! What usually comes after this phase, is a whole bunch of talking about it, or him, or her to your closest friends. Which results in a few of the typical questions, “is he cute?” “what is he like?” “how did you two meet?” and . . .“so, you two are dating?” This question may be the most unanswerable one out there.
 
 
What with all the phones, computers and grey areas, it’s kind of hard to determine what even constitutes as a read date anymore! How did we go from courting with parents by our side; to dating with chivalry still in tact; to talking which is more of an ongoing flirt fest; to some mixture of that, and just plain hooking up? Where is the room for a relationship in today’s world when technology is a third wheel and the definition of dating changes faster than you can say kiss me.
 

Girls, we used to get ready for hours, making our dates wait for us as we dolled up in front of the mirror trying not to think of all the things that could go wrong in the next two hours. Don’t get your heels stuck in a crack, wait until you have swallowed your food to talk, laugh at his jokes, use his name in conversation, don’t talk about your ex, accept compliments, try not to fall in any trashcans, avoid tripping the waiter, and try to be mysterious…or something like that. After our evening out, we would come home to over-analyze the kiss at the door that almost didn’t happen, how weird we must have looked when that spaghetti didn’t slurp up in one attempt, and how long it would take him to
call. But these types of nights just don’t happen anymore.

 
Now it’s something a little more like contacting one another mutually to talk about who-knows-what just because you enjoy one another’s “company.” No joke. We text, chat, Skype, message and call our crush’s more than we see them. But why? What are we even talking about when we don’t even have an actual date to talk about. Where have all the awkward doorbell rings, the droopy-but-cute roses and all of the chivalrous acts of the night gone? Like 50 Cent said, “I’m tired of using technology…I need you right in front of me.”
 

But I guess in today’s busy world we can’t really get around the use of technology to stay connected with everyone. Turn a Facebook chat into a text, a text into a phone call, and a phone call into an actual date. Make the time for someone, if you’re willing to text them all day, you should be able to find an hour or two to actually hang out with them, maybe even get dolled up and nervous for them, too!

Just remember that we can’t really define anything anymore. An unexpected visit, a flower delivery, a run-in turned into a date, a sweet text that shows he cares, or his friends telling you he talks about you non-stop, have no expectations, just let yourself be surprised. Go into dates, club nights, or other near run-ins with your cutie optimistically and remember those rules: chew with your mouth closed, accept compliments and NO TEXTING at the table!…even if your not on that “official date.”