So the other night, I was up on the roof with a couple of friends, just hanging out and talking, when my friend gets a text from a guy she’s interested in. This is how the conversation goes
Brian: “Hey, what are you doing later?”
Jessica: “Umm, I don’t know. Probably just hanging out.”
Brian: “Well, do you want to hang out before you leave?”
Jessica: “Sure, what time were you thinking?”
Brian: “Well I’m leaving the hill now.”
Jessica: “Okay, what about eight thirty? Or is that too early?”
Brian: “Well, actually I have some chores that my roommates won’t do. Maybe later this week?”
What’s wrong with this situation? He says later, which, in this context, implies “later tonight”. I’m leaving the hill now means “I’ll be home in a little bit”.
They continue the conversation, but it’s pretty clear that Jessica isn’t getting any unless she goes to his house. She wonders if she should text him—subtly of course—asking if he wants to come over (because she wants to have sex with him). These are the possibilities that her friends suggest:
She’s leaving in three days, so what does she have to lose?
If he knows she just wants sex, he’ll reject her, and she won’t have sex at all for the next three days, and if so, it definitely won’t be with him.
If she wants it that bad she should just go get it. It’s not like they’re getting married.
When the conversation dies, she doesn’t text him asking him to come over, nor does she go to his house.
So what’s going on here? Jessica and Brian are both playing the game, and neither one wins. Actually, they both lose, because neither one of them gives in.
So what are girls supposed to do? What is the right and wrong way to act when approaching this situation? How do girls play hard to get and make the guy give in?
Someone in a relationship might give you these pieces of advice:
“Go for it, don’t hold back”
“Guys are simple-minded, you know when they like you”
“If you have to guess if a guy likes you, he probably isn’t interested”
A girl who plays the game might give you these do’s and don’ts:
DO:
Be Confident
Rally back and forth, don’t initiate texts
Flirt with other guys in the same social situation
He needs to compete for you
DON’T:
Don’t be too easy, a guy needs a challenge
Don’t always initiate hanging out
Don’t say you’re attracted to them (obviously)
Don’t act too interested, don’t invest your whole night in him
This is what some guys say about methods that do or don’t work for them:
“I like when a girl flirts with my friends, but not if she’s doing it maliciously”
“It annoys the sh** out of me, but I can assume it works for girls if it works for me… I like to keep a girl waiting when she texts me. Because I know she’ll be constantly checking her texts to see if I answered.
“I like when a girl flirts and laughs, but not if she’s coming on too strong and not acting snobby. If a girl is talking to me like she’s better than me, that’s a total turn off. And if she makes me feel like I’m supposed to be kissing her feet or going to great lengths to talk to her, then my interest probably won’t last”.
“Seriously, girls just need to be honest, and not play a game… that’s my opinion”.
“Playing hard to get only works if there is already an established “try to get me”, which a lot of girls think they have, but don’t”.
Girls overanalyze everything. I think what we can take away from the guy’s responses is this: don’t be all over them and don’t ignore them. Just be casual, subtly flirtatious, and yourself (unless yourself means screaming, snorting when you laugh, getting so smashed that you can’t stand up or giving the guy you just met a pet name—crawl the warrior king?). Talking to the guy might also help you gage what sort of game he is trying to play (I know, they’re not all the same and that makes it worse), and you’ll be able to tell whether or not he’s worth it.