Whether it’s an hour away or twelve hours away, dating someone when distance is involved can become very challenging. It is no secret that couples maintain a healthier relationship when they can see each other on a regular basis. Nothing compares to the sparks that fly when you stare into your boyfriend/girlfriend’s eyes, feel the warmth of their body near yours, or the comfort you get when they’re by your side. Physical interaction is crucial to the upkeep of a relationship. So what happens when this interaction isn’t possible? Well my friends, this is when the true colors of your relationship are unveiled.
A relationship can seem all happy and dandy when you are able to see your boyfriend/girlfriend on a regular basis because you are constantly reminded of all the things you like in the other person. Furthermore, living in close proximity makes it possible to go out and do things together (such as movies, dinner, parties, etc) which then strengthens the bond between you two as you form new and exciting memories. However, the fun and games of a relationship are definitely minimized when you cannot see the other person for days, weeks, or even months on end. When the most interaction you get with the other person is via technology (cellphones, skype, facebook), it becomes hard to maintain that strong connection you experience when physically together. Sure, you are able to connect on the level of an engaging conversation, but there is no denying that one of the biggest aspects of a healthy relationship is impossible to attain: passion.
When are you distanced from your boyfriend/girlfriend, you are able to further strengthen your intellectual bond, but it becomes very hard to strengthen your physical bond. Thus, the key to maintaining a stable relationship when distance stands between you two is to keep the passionate juices flowing. There are simple things you can do to keep things spicy, such as talking about how wild it’s going to be when you see each other again, or even texting little innocent phrases like “I’m thinking about kissing your yummy lips!”…although it doesn’t cross the line of “phone sex,” it’s enough to get the other person thinking about how much they enjoy being intimate with you.
If you are able to keep that passionate aspect of your relationship, it will definitely help in making your time apart less miserable. However, some times the distance can become too much and this is when I refer to the fact that the true colors of a relationship can start to show. There is no doubt that not seeing someone you care about for lengths of time is very hard and can be straining on your relationship with that person—but, sometimes this time apart can become too much for people to handle. The true test of a relationship, in my opinion, is whether or not two people can last when they’re apart. If in fact you still think about that person, and yearn to be with them more than anyone physically around you, it’s proof that your feelings are genuine. On the contrary, if you are continuously tempted by those around you and often doubt if your relationship will last, this may be a good indication that maybe your relationship isn’t worth pursuing.
The infamous college test: where you end up at the end of a weekend night. In my personal experience, I have found that going out and partying here at UNH has been a tremendous help in showing me whether or not my long distance relationship was worth it. If you go out on the weekends and you find yourself so much caught up in the party scene that your boyfriend/girlfriend has been pushed to the back of your mind, maybe the relationship isn’t as important to you as you may have thought. On the other hand, if you go out and you find yourself wanting to call your boyfriend/girlfriend at the end of the night, or you notice yourself thinking about how much you wish they were there, this is a clear indication that your relationship with them is still one of your main priorities.
Whatever two people may do to maintain their long distance relationship, the space between them will always pose a challenge. If you find yourself having doubts and sometimes yearning to experience the single life, maybe putting up with the long distance isn’t worth the bare. However, for those of you who are currently in a long distance relationship and have found a way to make it last, you of all people know that the special moment you get to see your boyfriend/girlfriend again makes it all worth it in the end.