Unless you possess some sort of super natural power that gives you self control in the presence of alcohol or you’re allergic to vodka, chances are you’ve experienced the dreaded hangover. Headache, stomachache, nausea and complete inability to move are all symptoms that can lead to a whole day wasted in bed watching lifetime movies and regretting the awkward texts you sent to your ex last night. But before you take enough advil to sedate a small child or peel the piece of pizza off your floor and shove it down your throat, take a minute to educate yourself on whats really happening to your body and learn how to prevent it from happening next weekend!
So what exactly is it that’s making you question whether or not you threw yourself down a flight of stairs or whipped your hair back and fourth enough times to create a headache that just won’t quit? Could it be that you were switching from beer to liquor that’s making you sicker? Or maybe we can blame wine, well known for packing a powerful punch to the side of your cranium! All myths aside, a hangover is your body processing whatever alcohol you consumed. The factors that effect your own processing mechanisms are unique to each person, explaining why your roommate can slap the bag all night and run a 5k like it ain’t no thing while you’re stuck lying in bed the next morning trying your hardest not to up-chuck.
The peak of your hangover occurs when your body returns it’s blood-alcohol level back to zero, leaving you feeling thirsty, nauseous and achy. The speed at which your body returns to this level can depend on a few different things, some of which can be controlled and some of which cannot.
1. Food and water consumption before drinking– It’s no secret that if you’re already dehydrated and hungry and your feed yourself a liquid meal that is a know diuretic (increases the amount you pee aka dehydrates you even more) you’re body is going to react in ways that won’t be pretty. If you are going to be drinking make sure you’re going to be eating and hydrating as well.
2. Your enzyme levels– dehydrogenase is an enzyme in your body that breaks down alcohol. Women genetically have lower levels of this enzyme than men explaining the most women cannot drink as much without exceeding the legal limit of intoxication.
3. Dark booze consumption– If your drink of choice is dark rum or a tall glass of Guinness, you’re hangover cure could simply be switching to a lighter brew. A dark brew means that there are higher levels of impurities left over from the brewing process.
So how exactly can we ease the pain of your lovely little hangover? There are tons and tons of theories out there and you might even have your own personal remedy that you swear will help. Although the only fool proof way to avoid a hangover is to simply avoid alcohol altogether, there has to be another way! The following theories have been passed down from generations of college students and some even have scientific data to back them up! Prepare your body to enjoy a few drinks (in moderation) and you too can be hangover free!
1. Chug more water than beer and you’ll be in the clear!
Drink water during the day and have water waiting for you next to your bed as a reminder before you hit the hay! If you’re feeling thirsty don’t reach for your mixed drink because thirst is a sign of dehydration- grab a Poland Springs and drink drink drink! Bonus: try coconut water for a potassium boost to replenish lost electorlytes
2. An egg a day keeps your hangover away!
Eggs contain cysteine which is an enzyme that breaks down a hangover toxin called acetaldehyde so if the thought of eating doesn’t make you wanna hurl, scramble a few and banish those toxins!
3. Banana republic
Bananas contain potassium and electrolytes that are lost when alcohol’s diuretic effect begins to kick in. Add bananas to your cereal or add some kiwi fruit to your breakfast in bed!
4. Get juiced!
Juice will replenish electrolytes and is great to sip on for those of you that aren’t yet ready to stomach a plate of scrambled eggs.
5. Pace yourself
Take it easy on the shotgunning and you should be fine. Drinking too much too fast is the easiest way to score a seat next to the trash bin and leave you feeling like a real life zombie the next day, so take it slow and ignore anyone making jokes about “nursing” your drink because chances are, you’ll be the one holding their hair back the next morning.
Things that don’t work: The following are sure-fire ways to make your hangover a lot worse and leave you promising yourself you’ll never drink again! Don’t do ‘em!
1. Drinking coffee
Now that you’re already dehydrated, lets dehydrate ourselves a little more with a morning cup of Joe! NO! Drinking coffee or tea the morning of a hangover will absolutely leave your body begging for water and you begging your roommates never to let you drink again.
2. Hair of the dog
Whoever thought that drinking more alcohol would help eliminate the alcohol from your body probably didn’t pass 3rd grade math. Besides, if you’re like most of the hungover population the thought of another drink is enough to send you right to the trash barrel so I don’t even what to know what actually drinking it could do.
3. Exercising
If I had a penny for every time I heard someone say they’re hitting the gym to “sweat out” their beverages from the night before i’d be giving Oprah a run for her money on the Forbes top 100. Hitting the elliptical is a healthy habit but if you’re only heading to the rec center to bake in the sauna and sweat until your fingers look like raisins then you’re only making things worse. Dehydration people, it’s not good when your sober and it’s even worse when you’re hungover.
4. Lifetime movie marathon!
Sitting in bed all day watching TV might be the only thing you think you’re physically capable of doing but I urge you to get out of bed, take a shower and get yourself together. You’ll feel much better about your hangover if you don’t let it ruin your day!
There you have it kids, put your hangover to rest and make your day a productive one! Please remember that if you’re not of legal drinking age, you shouldn’t be hungover anyways, so problem solved! Always be safe and always make good choices especially around the presence of alcohol!