Marriage. Just like earning your driver’s license, being accepted into a good college, and joining Facebook, its been another one of life’s milestones for as long as we know. So then why are so many young collegiette™s these days removing it from their bucket lists? Some say they don’t need a piece of paper to prove they love someone. Others just don’t want to commit to a lifelong partner, and worst of all, some are too afraid the increasing divorce rates will snatch them up!
But enough about that scary marriage-snatching monster dubbed ‘divorce’ – I’m not here to frighten those who already have their sights set on living in perpetual bachelorette-hood even more. I’m here to merely overanalyze a topic (I’m a girl, that’s what I do) that may just be the leading cause behind WE tv’s Bridezillas’ decrease in viewers. (I actually have no idea if Bridezillas is suffering or not. If anything, they still have me hooked!)
Working Girl
Take it from this 5-year-old – sometimes, we’ve just got other priorities! Back when men were the sole providers of the bacon, a woman’s main job was in the home. After women began pursuing higher education, scoring high-level jobs, earning raises and what not, they too started sizzling the Oscar Mayer – and oh how good it tasted.
Pretty soon, girls everywhere started craving successful careers. Yet some still want to list their occupation as “real housewife of NoVa,” or major in “gold-digger” (and there’s nothing wrong with that). But the reason so many are driven to establish themselves in their careers first could be a reason for prolonging marriage. It takes years to climb the promotion ladder and many girls feel that until they reach a stable point in their career and find the time to first focus on themselves, that only then can finally give their full attention to creating a life with someone else.
Miss Independent
Spurring off of career-oriented is independence. Girls can do just about anything nowadays, except pee standing (although I heard NASA was researching something… no? They’re not? Where am I getting my sources these days?!). Many feel as if they don’t need a man to help fulfill their lives. They are just as happy the way they are and with the way their lives are going. Plus they love cats.
“I don’t see myself getting married because I don’t think it should be something you have to do,” says JMU junior, Maddie, “I don’t think it should be a plan at all, like some role you search to fill. You should be searching to fill the holes in your own spirit before you sync to someone else’s.”
There’s also the notion that marriage implies giving up independence, and some women are not too keen on forfeiting dominance. Also, neither men nor women this decade seem to be too into, ah, what’s the word? Commitment? Yes, that. Heck, it took Gene Simmons 28 years to tie the knot with a former Playboy Playmate! …Which still puzzles me because isn’t that, like, every guy’s dream?
Living Young and Wild and Free
“I feel like this is the age when we’re supposed to embrace our freedom and try to get the most out of these few years before we have to buckle down and accept the responsibilities of being an adult,” says JMU junior, Ansley. Any college student would second me when I say college carries a crazy amount of commitment. And with keeping with my “ca” sounded alliterations, can you criticize the kids for cancelling out a consistent companion? (Not completely sure that even makes sense, but it took me a countless course of Karate Kid – OK I’m stopping.)
Basically, girls just want to have fun! They are in no rush to get married in their early twenties anymore because the world presents such amazing opportunities they want to take advantage of before they think about getting serious with someone. A boyfriend here and there is great, but most people will agree that relationships are heavy things, and girls hitting their quarter-life crisis have learned from their parents, the media, and everywhere in between, that some of the best parts of life happen when you’re young and single.
Ansley adds, “I’m trying to hold on to this feeling of freedom and endless possibility for as long as possible; and for me that seems easiest to do without being tied to another person.”
So it’s not that women necessarily do not want to get married anymore. Yes, some have eliminated the possibility out of their lives completely, but who says they are not entitled to their own opinion? Many young women still do believe they would like to get married some day, they’ve just modified their priorities for the changing times and have moved it a couple numbers down the list. And whether that be a successful career or a couple more years of partying, first, they need to find love.