Sex. It’s undeniable that it’s everywhere. All you have to do is turn on your TV, check out the newest hit on iTunes, or just hang out at a party and you’ll see: sex is in. In fact, sometimes it feels like everyone is having sex. You hear your friends gossiping about the hot guy that they slept with last night or how great their boyfriend is in bed. It’s not just girls; guys talk about how they want to sleep with the hot girl in their class or brag about the number of chicks they’ve seen naked.
But what does all this sex mean in terms of relationships? Casual sex is one thing, but in relationships, sex is sometimes postponed. So are guys on campus itching to jump into bed with every girl they date? Or are they putting off doing the deed when the relationship feels serious? Determined to find out what’s really going on at UNC, I created a survey and polled some quality Carolina men. I staked out a spot near Lenoir during mid-afternoon and preyed on a slew of random guys. First, my survey asked some basic background questions:
- age
- year in school
- whether they have ever had sexual intercourse
- if they had ever had a committed, monogamous relationship
- if they were currently in a committed relationship, and if so, were they having sex in their relationship
Then came the fun questions! I asked each guy to think back to their most current relationship and mark how long they had waited to have sex. After that, the last question asked was how long is an appropriate amount of time in a relationship to have sex.
Now let’s get to the guys! Of the 66 guys polled, the median age was 20. There were eight freshmen, 24 sophomores, 24 juniors, six seniors, two super seniors and two graduate students. Six reported that they were virgins (9 percent), 54 had been in a relationship at some point (82 percent), and 18 were in relationships (27 percent) when I surveyed them. Interestingly, two of the boys in relationships (11 percent) weren’t having sex.
When it came to their most recent relationship, 18 guys (33 percent) had sex within the first week of their commitment. Second place went to waiting 1-2 months, which 14 boys (26 percent) reported as their wait time. When it comes to waiting in general, though, it appears that not every guy practices what he preaches. On the one end of the spectrum, 14 guys (21 percent) said that it’s totally acceptable to have sex within the first week of a new relationship. Another 21 petcent said that two weeks to one month is ideal. However, perhaps the two most interesting response choices were the six guys who said that sex is best saved for marriage and the six that said it depends on whenever their partner is ready.
So what do all of these numbers mean? Basically, it depends on the type of person you are and the type of person he is. If you ask any guy on campus what their views on sex are, you’ll get a different answer. Some guys are fine with having sex right away in a relationship and some prefer to wait. In the end, what matters most is whether or not both people are comfortable and ready to take that step.
No survey can tell you whether that will happen within one night, one month, one year or later. The next time you’re thinking about getting more intimate, just make sure that it’s the right time for you. In the end, the perfect time is the time that’s perfect for you.
Collegiettes: how long do you wait to have sex?
If you’re interested in how the boys answered, enjoy the full results below!
Total number of guys: 66
Age Range: 17-22
Mean: 19.8
Median: 20
Year
Freshmen: 8
Sophomores: 24
Juniors: 24
Seniors: 6
Super-Seniors: 2
Grad students: 2
Have you ever had sexual intercourse?
Yes: 60
No: 6
Have you ever had a committed, monogamous relationship?
Yes: 54
No: 12
Are you currently in a committed, monogamous relationship?
Yes: 18
No: 48
If so, are you currently having sex in your relationship?
Yes : 16
No: 2
How long did you wait to have sex in your most recent relationship?
0 days- 1 day 18
1 week- 2 weeks 5
2weeks- 1 month 9
1 month- 2 months 14
2 months- 4 months 6
4months- 6 months 4
6 months0 9 months 2
9 months- 1 year 0
1 year- 18 months 0
+18 months 2
Waiting until marriage 6
How long do you think is an appropriate amount of time to wait to have sex in a committed relationship?
0 days- 1 day 14
1 week- 2 weeks 8
2weeks- 1 month 14
1 month- 2 months 10
2 months- 4 months 8
4months- 6 months 0
6 months0 9 months 0
9 months- 1 year 0
1 year- 18 months 0
+18 months 6
Waiting until marriage 6
Sources:
Kissing couple: http://travonfree.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/kissing.gif
Beach couple: http://us.123rf.com/400wm/400/400/massonforstock/massonforstock1008/massonforstock100800530/7594039-couple-kissing
-at-sunrise.jpg
Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake (Friends with Benefits): http://i53.tinypic.com/vys7k4.jpg