It can be very tempting to rush right into a new hookup. But are you doing it for the right reasons? Here are five things you should think about before making the plunge:
1. Do you know anything about this person?
Only 15 percent of girls reported hooking up with a stranger, while 50 percent hooked up with someone they knew of but had never hooked up with before.
It’s easy to get wound up by the excitement of hooking up with a stranger, but ask yourself, “Am I exaggerating this fantasy and sweeping all of the consequences under the carpet?” First of all, if you have both decided you are going back to his place, are you sure you will be safe there? Can you trust him enough, after just meeting him, to tell you if he has an STD or not? Do you both have the same expectation for this hookup, whether it will have no strings attached or might happen more than once?
While there can be a lot of thrill in the adventure of hooking up with a stranger, stop and think before you take the plunge. If you have assessed the situation and are still okay with it, then you can pass “go,” but if you have a bad gut feeling about it, you are probably right. It’s better to be safe than sorry (which reminds me – don’t forget condoms).
2. Will you regret it?
Let’s think of a few worst-case, but still possible, scenarios to consider before doing the deed.
- Your friend likes him and has been talking to him for the past few weeks.
- He is your partner in your four-hour chemistry lab once a week.
- He seemed really hot last night … not so much this morning.
- You could see yourself in a relationship with him … but he sneaks out early the next morning not to be heard from again.
- You currently have a significant other (but not for long).
- You feel dirty and ashamed after doing it.
- Why is it so itchy down there? Well, what do you know? Looks like you have crabs.
3. Is it a rebound?
You broke up with your boyfriend a month ago and want him to know how better off you are without him, so you hook up with a guy in hopes that word will get back to your ex–WAIT! Think very carefully before you do that.
Not only are you trying to validate yourself in a way that usually ends up tarnishing your self-respect, but also you may really be hurting the other guy. You may have conned him into a hookup that he thought might go farther than a one-night stand. Nobody likes to be used and what goes around tends to come back around–just remember that.
4. How much alcohol have you had?
Parties are very conducive to hooking up, especially since alcohol is usually involved. Against your better (sober) judgment you may meet a guy at a party, feel some sort of “connection” and want to hook up immediately. There are a lot of things to consider in this situation–the same things addressed in No. 1 above. Keep in mind that the average number of drinks involved in a drunken hookup for a girl is six and for a guy it is four. Always remember to put your own safety first. There are other opportunities in life to be impulsive, but be careful before you decide to make this one of them.
5. Are you being pressured?
Sexual assault and forced sexual contact are rapidly growing problems on college campuses nation-wide. A staggering one in five women is raped during her college career. Your first year in college is an especially important time to be aware of the risks posed because out of the women who are sexually assaulted, one-third of them are attacked between the ages of 17 and 19.
It is also important to be aware that 81 percent of on-campus assaults are not reported. Keep an eye out for your friends at parties and perhaps develop a system where no one leaves without someone in the group. Remember ladies, strength in numbers!
For more information on interpersonal violence on college campuses, please consult this HerCampus UNC article.
Sources:
Understanding Hookup Culture
http://www.nyu.edu/shc/promotion/svstat.html – NYU Student Health Center
Knocked Up (Photo): http://www.film4.com/images/knocked-up-2006-01.jpg
Alcohol at Party (Photo): http://www.shopaservice.com/articles/wp-content/uploads/bachelorette-party.jpg
Guy Pressuring Girl (Photo): http://ology.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/post-image/rwplayas.jpg