In honor of my TWENTY-SECOND BIRTHDAY (gahhh I’m so old), I’ve compiled a list of wishes I’d like granted, should I happen to come across a genie/wizard/guardian angel on this momentous day. Most are boy-centric, but all are pop culture-centric, leading me to believe I have some very serious personal issues I should probably address…after my birthday.
1. I want to be told, on my 22nd birthday, that I am actually a princess of a far-off land that nobody’s heard of. I want an uptight yet gentle grandmother to appear out of the woodwork and teach me how properly wave to my constituents, and I want to unwind from my princess-in-training lessons by making alternative art with my hippie mom. I want to kiss the hottie guy I’ve had a crush on for years, but then decide he’s an awful kisser and jump into a relationship with my best friend’s brother, who’s cool AND in a band. Finally, I want to fly first-class to said far-off land with my adorably fat cat (which, for my purposes, will actually be a dog) and my new boyfriend, and live happily ever after in a beautiful castle.
2. I want to do something completely out-of-character, like audition for a school play. I want to shock everyone with my beautiful singing voice and snag the lead role and further shock everyone by playing opposite the hunkiest guy on the basketball team. I want us to have an undeniable chemistry that makes us spontaneously burst out in choreographed song-and-dance routines, while the rest of my classmates act as our back-up dancers. I want to spend every waking moment skipping and dancing and twirling through the school hallways with my co-lead and new boyfriend (do you see a theme forming?), and after working through some tense moments regarding our futures, live happily ever after.
3. I want to become one of the most powerful and most sought-after women in the world and repeatedly land myself on Forbes’ list of wealthiest people. I want to educate myself to the fullest and eventually host my own talk show, in which I give sensitive, thoughtful advice to people in need and occasionally yell at a respected author who deceived the nation by writing a novel and calling it a memoir. I want to become so successful that I give my whole studio audience brand-new cars as gifts and so influential that women across the world gather to read books I choose as part of my imaginary Book Club. …Yes, I want to be Oprah. But maybe without the weight trouble.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Wisconsin chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.