You’re been “seeing” a guy at school for a few months, and things are starting to get hot and heavy. He is respectful, funny, attractive, and basically everything you’ve ever wanted in a guy. There are clearly feelings involved, and you think you might really want to take this “thing” to the next level. Then it happens- he asks you what your “number” is. You know he doesn’t mean your phone number (he has been texting you all a long anyways…). No, Prince Charming is asking you how many people you’ve slept with. You’re from two very different places, and it would be nearly impossible for him to find out your number on his own. However, does the person your seeing have a right to know? Many people may be reluctant to answer this question. Would you be honest with your partner about your number even if you knew there would be inevitable consequences? HC Suffolk surveyed a hundred college students to hear their opinion on the matter.
If the person you’re dating asked you how many people you’ve had sex with, would you be honest with them?
65% of responders said they would. But what about the other 35%? While only about 12% were quick to say no, 23% admitted there were extent circumstances. Many said they would have to be extremely comfortable with someone in order to let them in on such personal information. Others said the only way they would tell the truth was if they saw a romantic future with the person asking. When asked, one student said that he “would initially say only a few and see their reaction, [but] would be very hesitant to tell the honest number”. This hesitance is understandable, since 30% of participants said that someone’s “number” would have an impact on whether or not someone was “datable” and 20% said it would effect whether or not they’d consider marrying someone.
Whose telling the truth?
The results showed that of those surveyed, 58% said that the most important factor regarding sexual relationships is simply their sexual health and “cleanliness”, regarding STDs. In fact, the main reason many female responders said they would be hesitant to be with a person who had a high number was due to personal health pro-cautions, as opposed to moral disagreement. When asked if they would be willing to date a guy with a significantly higher “number” than them, one female responder said;“ I would have to consider it carefully, I would want to ensure that their number was not indicative of a continuously careless behavior”, Carelessness, including meaningless sex and lack of protection are two factors that should be highly considered when contemplating a partner. Someone’s “number” doesn’t directly affect you, but his or her lack of safety pre cautions can. Women were less likely to be honest about their sex number if their count was over 9. Many say they have a set number they tell all guys to make themselves look less promiscuous. Someone’s sex number is more likely to have a negative affect on ones self-esteem, as opposed to sexual health, assuming they are using the correct methods of protection. This explains the dishonesty many reported.
Only 50% of those surveyed reported knowing the number of their current/previous partners. Although these people have engaged in the “number” conversation, based on the surveys results; it is nearly impossible that everyone who reported knowing their significant others “number” has the correct facts. Many people actually said have prepared answers they say instead of their actual count “I usually say 18, when its 31 (at the moment)” said one survey participant. With many people admitting to lying, asking how many people your partner has had sex with can be useless. It is said that one out of every five college students has an STD; a scary ratio considering the average survey participant has had sex with a minimum of five people. It has also been reported that only 54% of college students regularly use condoms during intercourse. The data we accumulated also showed that 60% of our survey participants have had a “one night stand”. So rather then focusing on the numbers talk to your partner about their history of contraception use and STD screenings. After all, diseases are not limited to those who are designated “sluts” by their peers.
Consequences of Behavior
The results showed that of those surveyed, 58% said that the most important factor regarding sexual relationships is simply their sexual health and “cleanliness”, regarding STDs. In fact, the main reason many female responders said they would be hesitant to be with a person who had a high number was due to personal health pro-cautions, as opposed to moral disagreement. When asked if they would be willing to date a guy with a significantly higher “number” then them one female responder said;“ I would have to consider it carefully, I would want to ensure that their number was not indicative of a continuously careless behavior”. Carelessness, including meaningless-sex and lack of protection are two factors that should be highly considered when contemplating a partner. Someone’s “number” doesn’t directly affect you, but his or her lack of safety pre-cautions can. Women were less likely to be honest about their sex number if their count was over 9. Many say they have a set number they tell all guys to make them-selves look less promiscuous. Someone’s sex number is more likely to have a negative affect on ones self-esteem, as opposed to sexual health, assuming they are using the correct methods of protection. This explains the dishonesty many reported.
Unclear Standards
A number doesn’t accurately reflect someone’s morality or personal history. There are many other factors that contribute to someone’s persona and health. Sex numbers apparently don’t affect someone’s ability to be in a relationship either. Among the highest of data accumulated ¾ of the people who admitted to having a number greater than 31 said they have been in a relationship for at least a year at one point. One reader stated that “As long as the number and explanations behind it have nothing to do with them being clean or faithful it shouldn’t matter”. You wouldn’t sit down to read a math book and expect to accumulate a story from it. You can’t look at an answer and know what the equation was simply by looking at the result. A person’s number doesn’t say anything about the process it was to get there. “Your value as a person is not diminished by your number ”. However, if you really want to know your partners sex number, approaching the topic without sounding condescending and judgmental is crucial. Doing so will increase the chance that they will be honest with their answer.