Why is it that Valentine’s Day ALWAYS sneaks up on you? To those of you who are happily tied down: good for you. V-day is your holiday, embrace it. And to those of you who are still searching for a special someone: this post goes out to you, my friends. I’ve compiled a list of special activities to keep you occupied this V-Day and to keep you happy all day long – with or without a man. I, too, will be partaking.
1. If you have not already done so, watch the Showtime series Shameless. The show is full of characters engaging in shameless (punny, huh?), unattached sex and living the single life to the fullest. Plus, Joan Cusack is superb as a neurotic and agoraphobic sex fiend. Need I say more?
2. Explore Pinterest. Beautiful, Instagram-ed photos of food and couture abound. I am 100 percent addicted.
3. Treat yourself to a mani/pedi. I know, I know, it sounds stupid, but who doesn’t love some spa time?
4. Choose a favorite restaurant and order in dinner with friends. Do not try the age-old option of going to a fancy-shmancy restaurant with all your “single ladies” to try to outsmart the notion of Valentine’s Day (“Look, world, we don’t need men to keep us happy!”). The truth is, you will be surrounded by cutesy, lovey-dovey couples and it will simultaneously make you want to puke and punch said couples in the face. If you’re feeling gutsy, try making a homemade dessert – but generally I think that’s way more hassle than it’s worth.
5. Go to a gay bar. There’s something nice about watching hot, half-naked men dance on tabletops whilst also feeling no need to impress them.
But whatever you do, DO NOT: Rent the movie Valentine’s Day. Not only does it completely suck and exemplifies all that is wrong with the film industry today, but it also leaves you feeling completely depressed. Nobody in your life is as hot as the catrillion movie stars in the movie, nor will you ever find yourself in a love story as hopelessly adorable as the ones in it.