We all know someone who has been through a bad breakup, or maybe you’ve been through one yourself. We ask ourselves whether we should stay by their side 24/7 or keep our distance until calmer waters come along. Here are four tips that I find very helpful when my friends (or I) are going through this rough patch:
1. Just listen.
Sometimes the most important thing during these situations is having someone who is available to pour your heart out to, whether it’s by crying until you run out of tears or spilling out all your heartbreak word by word. Let her know that you genuinely care and want to hear her story without trying to give any advice. A good thing to say could be “Tell me more about it.” This shows her that you are interested in what she has to say.
2. Give her hope.
During this time it is difficult to imagine a happy future. Make sure she knows this isn’t the end of the world. It’s hard but not impossible. Tell her that although it certainly sucks, some good things fall apart for even better things to come together. Compliments go a long way during these times too, and having someone close to you reminding you how great you are makes it a little easier. Tell her your favorite traits about her or remind her about a talent of hers that you admire.
3. Celebrate friendship.
One of the most important things is making sure that your friend does not feel alone. Go out for dinner and drinks, stay in and watch reruns of your favorite show, have a sleepover or even bake together. A few months ago, a friend of mine went through her first breakup so I brought her cookie dough and tea and watched hours and hours of Sex and the City. She needed to know that there are still people in her life that love her.
4. Don’t overdo it.
It’s good to have friends surrounding you during a difficult time, but sometimes it’s hard to draw the line. Make sure you are allowing her to stand on her own. Give her space. This will also give her time to think about what she gained from this relationship and what she learned about herself. She can even make a list and use it to improve herself in the future!
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