If we really are to be finding “The One” later in life, as last month’s article encouraged, chances are we’re going to be racking up a bevy of old beaus. Whether you’ve got 2 or 20, long ago, or not long ago enough, we all have exs. It’s the fact that we’ve “had” them though that can cause so much concern.
Now, at first glance, it would appear that the easiest path to take with The Ex is to write them out completely. You can burn the horrible hoodie he left, tear his head out of photos and de-friend him on Facebook, but the question is; is there a “block” option in real life? Relationships might end with “I think we should just be friends” but how many of them actually become true chums? After all, can things ever be normal when they’ve seen your Bridget Jones knickers?
For many, if an ex was suddenly in contact, they would think two things: either “he must still love me” or …“he’s given me Chlamydia”. Let’s be honest, both could end in tears. Personally, however, I find something peculiar in the fact that you can go from ‘loved one’ to ‘no one’ with nothing more. Surely, if you had any form of good relationship when you were together you should be able to salvage something resembling friendship in the aftermath? If you can’t, it says a lot about the relationship. When rooting through the Ex-Files, it should become obvious that at some point in your life, these were the people who knew you more than anyone, cared about you more than anyone and loved you more than anyone. If these are valuable traits in a friendship, should we be sacrificing all that just because we no longer fancy them?
Now, of course, there are some relationships that cannot be salvaged… Chances are, if you caught him shagging your housemate, meeting for a quick coffee is not going to be high on your to do list. Alternatively, in some cases you have to stop being friends in order to get over them but if there’s nothing to get over in the first place, is there really any reason you can’t be friends? Ok, he’s seen you naked but so did half The Lemmy last Saturday. Whilst there will always be cases where perspective is more valuable than friendship, there will be others where friendship is more valuable than the romance preceding it.