There comes a time at Wake when each of us is faced with the dilemma of dealing with a guy we just really have no desire to hook up with. Maybe he’s creepy. Maybe he’s annoying. Maybe you’re not attracted. Maybe he’s just plain clingy. If you’re really unfortunate he’s all of the above.
Nevertheless, due to a fair amount of liquid courage and lack of mental processing, around 1:30 am on a Friday night, we’ve all found ourselves at one point or another in the dorm room of said guy.
Sh*t.
As your drunkenness fades, you become acutely aware of how this guy is inching closer…and closer… And how unappealing hooking up with him now seems.
Lucky for all of you, collegietes, there is an art form to avoiding hooking up with this guy, and never finding yourself in this situation again. The key is to having a detailed, plausible excuse that makes it seem as if you aren’t necessarily repulsed by him, but you have to go. Like, now.
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The first thing you need to do is come up with your excuse. This can range from “my roommate is locked out of our suite and is going to kill me if I don’t let her in right now” to someone found my best friend puking in the stairwell and wants me to come get her right now”. Notice the “right now”?
The excuse needs to have some meat to it, and must be a situation that actually could happen. Otherwise he will see right through your BS and be, well, pissed. Once you have the excuse decided, grab your phone and pretend to read a message. Then, look up at him with as much sincerity as possible, and regretfully explain your “situation”. It’s a good thing to seem bummed, but not excessively so, because, after all, you don’t want to find yourself in this situation again. Once you explain your excuse, start to put on your shoes and collect your things. One more “sorry”, and you’re out of there, free to (inconspicuously) run for the hills.
Hopefully your guy will get the picture after this. Avoid him from afterwards just to be on the safe. After all, no one likes a tease. And if he is still persistently pursuing you, the window for excuses and hoping he’ll get the message is over. Sorry, collegiettes, but it’s time for a real, honest conversation. It might be uncomfortable, it might be awkward, but nothing is worse than unrequited love. Put the guy out of his misery, move on, and (fingers-crossed!) he will, too.