OKAY. We all know that annoying couple who just takes things way too far when it comes to expressing their intense, fiery passion and devotion to one another. That couple who finds it appropriate to clumsily walk up Bascom with their arms wrapped tightly around each other, slowing up traffic on the way to your 8:50. That couple who you have to take that awkward elevator ride with after witnessing the tail-end of their make out session as the doors open. That couple who behaves like they need to act like Noah and Allie from The Notebook every single day of their lives to prove their existence as a couple. Well, it just so happens that I have the great displeasure of my roommate being one of those people.
Tell me what’s wrong with this picture. This girl is beautiful, blonde, smart, and majoring in genetics here at University of Wisconsin. Her boyfriend is, well, a sophomore in high school. I know what you’re thinking, and trust me I think that too. Sorry hun. I try my hardest to be non-judgmental, but SERIOUSLY. Guys have been falling at her feet here, and she is blind to this fact because of a boy whose parents just decided to let him visit for the first time a week ago because he turned sixteen years old. To give him some credit, he is a decently nice boy, and every time she jumps his response is always “how high?”
Aside from this fact, they win gold for most annoying couple I’ve ever encountered. While I will acknowledge and respect that long distance relationships are quite difficult, the way they communicate is absolutely repulsive. As I am writing this, as a matter of fact, she called him and said “Why don’t you ever call me before you go to bed? You really need to start doing that.” PUKE. She never warns me when they are about to Skype or have a phone conversation, although I’ve told her I’d prefer not to be a witness. First off, they have those obnoxious pet names for each other, and I do admit that I have been called a few dandies in the past, but they call each other babe, baby, sweetie, and cutie in EVERY sentence. Also, the baby talk is unbearable. It is kind of ironic though, since he is technically a child. Hehe. She has also confessed to leaving her web cam on, so her and her boyfriend can watch each other sleep…Does it get any worse than that?!
However annoying their Skype sessions are, their late night conversations truly take the cake. As if when I’m trying to fall asleep I really want to hear “Baby I can’t sweep. Teww me a stowy.*baby talk*” BUT WAIT! IT GET’S BETTER! “Teww me about our future.” AHHH!!! This is the moment when I shove my head under my pillow and remind myself to buy ear plugs tomorrow at Walgreens. I am thankful that she at least opts to go home and see him rather than having him come here every weekend… At least I only have to hear things that I don’t want to hear instead of seeing things I don’t want to see.
I know I’m not the only one that feels this way. And to all of you Badger ladies happily in love and participate in all of that cheesy stuff, I guess it’s fair to say that I don’t understand what it’s like since I haven’t been in a relationship in quite some time. With that being said, I’m still fairly confident that I will not be making a fool out of myself if the time comes, at least not in public.
**Shout Out to my roomie for being SUCH a good sport.