Your eyes flutter open. Okay, you’re in your own bed – check. And your purse is there, too. And your wallet is inside your purse, as is your bronzer – check, check. With those essential details established, your attention turns to finding your cell phone, which is buried somewhere deep within your tangled sheets. The sun is pouring through your blinds, promising another beautiful fall day on campus, and your roommate – who is fully-clothed and has already returned from brunch at Dewick – is sitting on your bed, stressing about how much Econ. homework she has to get done today. You, in the meantime, are still buried under your covers, hiding from the world, and staring at your iPhone with dread. For beneath your cute Kate Spade cover lays one of the things all college girls fear the most – the forgotten texts you sent last night.
Even the most dignified Collegiette has woken up with a churning in her stomach that is the result of more of just an impulsive 3 AM order from Pizza Days. There are a million different actions that have the potential to bring us delayed shame or self-disappointment, and the likelihood that we will commit one of these faults only increases when the inhibition-dulling effects of alcohol enter the equation.
Every Tufts student knows that Club Tisch is the place to be on Sunday afternoons, but sometimes after a night you regret, seeing, being seen by, and interacting with, your fellow Jumbos can seem like the least appealing thing you can fathom. If you ever find yourself feeling like this, there is a decent chance that your previous evening included one of the following events:
1. You messed up with your crush.
2. You cried because of said crush.
3. You cried about your boyfriend (present or former).
4. You cried about anything else.
5. You fell down. Hard. In front of a crowd.
6. You told that boy from your Philosophy class that the reason you always stare at him is that he reminds you of Luke, the goblin from the movie Halloweentown 2.
7. You stained your friend’s favorite shirt.
8. You took off your own shirt.
9. You don’t remember what you did or said at all.
10. Your #textsfromlastnight say it all (or attempt to do so in drunk, broken English).
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The thought that you may have committed one of these party faux pas can be absolutely terrifying, especially when thinking about them before even getting out of bed to wash your Jungle Juice-stained teeth. While your first instinct is likely to start researching deadlines for transfer applications, just relax! Stay calm. We’ve all been there. Just simply follow these DOs and DON’Ts of how to act the morning after a bad (and/or forgotten) night…
Do: Text all of your friends to make sure they’re safe. Not everything is all about you.
Don’t: Text apologies to anyone you worry you might have offended or frightened. It will only make the event – which they may have already forgotten – stay in their memory longer.
Do: Take comfort in the fact that if you had an embarrassing night, at least one of your co—conspiring-co-dependent friends likely did, too.
Don’t: Post shameful or self-debasing things about yourself or your night on Facebook or Twitter. Absolution through some kind of weird cyber confessional is not an actual thing.
Do: Think up a plan for how to better control yourself next time. Buddy system, anyone?
Don’t: Stay in bed all day watching Law and Order: SVU just because your head hurts. Pop an Aspirin and get on with your life.
And finally, the most important thing to remember:
Do: Remember that no matter how much time you spend worrying about yourself and your antics, everyone else is spending the same amount of time worrying about themselves and their own drunken actions. Between schoolwork, online shopping, and participating in the Olympic sport of keeping up with every Real Housewives series, there is very little time to worry the way someone else behaved in a dark basement. Love yourself, take care of yourself, and forgive yourself. And for God’s sake, delete any embarrassing texts you may have sent – you may be strong, but the human mind is a fragile thing.
photos courtesy of: notesfromtheintern.com, sheknows.com, lionsdenu.com