When it’s 7 degrees and your liquid jacket doesn’t cut it for a walk down the hill, you throw on your massive Northface black down jacket (you know the one your mom told you that has to last all 4 years…) Whatever, you wear the jacket anyway. So you roll up to the frat house with all your girls, but because it’s like your favorite jacket ever, you tie it to everyone else’s jacket and throw it under a random couch (because this is 100% thief proof in case anyone was wondering). So now that your jacket is all taken care of, you’re ready to have some fun. Everyone heads downstairs to the basement, filled with bad decisions and loud music. After the drinks run low and your patience runs out, you decide that it’s time to leave (gotta beat the Jug line) to head downtown.
Since your arrival, the temperature has dropped from 7 to 3 degrees and it’s unpleasantly started to snow. As all your friends untie their coats and hand them out, you realize the pile is one short. That black Northface down jacket is nowhere to be found. It’s not under the couch, not thrown across the floor or tied to someone else’s coat. Whatever, you’re sure one of your besties took it and will give it to you later, so you run out the door into the frozen tundra. Post frat, pre Jug liquid jackets are pretty warm, so you make it there with no frostbite or hypothermia that you know of. After the flashlight shines on you for the 4th time and John Jug screams to get off the benches, you decide its time to head home. Back at the dorm you finally realize that someone stole your black Northface down jacket and that you will probably never see it again. You wonder when is a good time to tell your mom… next weekend? Spring break? Finally, you fall asleep and wake up the next day (mid afternoon of course).
You write the description of your jacket and where it was last seen in the Colgate 2015 group… “Hey I lost a black Northface down jacket at one of the frats last night…if anyone has seen it let me know!” (Because this works every time right?) A week later, no jacket. So far, you have stared down every girl wearing a black down jacket, but don’t have the guts to go up and look for that tiny hole in the left sleeve. After a month, you give up completely; you and the jacket have permanently parted ways. (R.I.P. Black Northface).
Even though your mom will lever let you hear the end of your lost jacket, you now own a few jackets from a thrift shop (just like your favorite song), so that you will never have to wonder “who the f*** stole my jacket,” ever again.