Q: I have a friend who constantly throws backhanded comments towards me when we’re out with a group of friends. She claims she’s my friend, and I don’t want to seem overly sensitive, but her snide remarks come off so rude. Should I talk to her about it?
A: Whatever happened to the Golden Rule? You know, do unto others as you would have others do unto you? Unfortunately, you will encounter a lot of bitter people in your life, so it’s better to learn how to brush them off than to constantly feel upset. By doing this, you’ll develop a thick skin, and you’ll always have a smile on your face. If I were you, I would think of her as someone who’s teaching you a lesson and as practice for the real world!
Although she’s in your circle of friends, don’t feel obligated to have her be your best friend or your buddy at parties. However, it is important to be civil, polite, and most importantly, the bigger person. That’s a lesson you’ll be teaching her. Laugh at her comments, or just simply ignore them. If she’s still persistent, just say, “You know, it was funny the first time, but you gotta come up with new material! I’ll give you an A for effort, though.” This way, she’ll see that you don’t let her purposefully hurtful comments get to you, and she’ll feel stupid.
Would I talk to her about it? Maybe. It does all depend on what her comments are, and how often she throws these digs at you. Of course, these comments are disrespectful no matter how many times she says something. However, maybe you really are being overly sensitive. She could just be sarcastic, and that’s just her personality. That doesn’t mean you have to like it or be friends with her, so I would let it go. Stand up for yourself when needed, but I would have her comments go in one ear and out the other.