Let’s just lay the cards on the table: breakups are rough, but unfortunately they’re inevitable. Like The Script always says so in their lyrics, “When a heart breaks, no, it don’t break even…” and they’re right. No matter which side of the breakup you end up on, it’s never a fun situation. I’ve had my fair share of breakups and I’ve been both the dumper and the dumpee; and both are tough, let me tell you. So since they’re unavoidable and for lack of a better word, miserable, I’m here to help you redefine breakups and make them more bearable. Let me introduce to you the idea of a B.U.R.N., otherwise known as a Break Up Recovery Night. I invented this in high school after dealing with one of my guy friends who was constantly getting in and out of relationships. It got to the point where I was sick of being around him because he was always so miserable. So, like the good friend that I am, and because I was so tired of hearing his sob stories, I created the idea of a B.U.R.N.
So, you sent or received the horrible text: “We need 2 talk.” Again, whether you sent it or got it, it’s not a good feeling. Both sides are anticipating what is going to happen next, just waiting with knots in their stomachs, and feeling like they’re on the verge of sickness. Well, this is a pretty blatant sign that things are not going to end well, so why not accept that fact and try to make the best of it? In fact, my family enjoys B.U.R.N. so much that they look forward to a breakup in my household; to the point where it’s almost a celebration.
With any celebration, there needs to be food. As a poor college student, spending the least amount of money possible is basically a necessity. The first step in a successful B.U.R.N.—in fact, in any break up situation (and in my case, any situation at all, ever)—is junk food. So, take the last $10 that you have to your name to the nearest dollar store and splurge on all the guilty pleasures you can afford. One night of a broken New Year’s resolution diet is well worth the mental recovery, I promise.
Next, we have movies. As a general rule, you don’t want to watch anything that will fuel your sadness fire, so stay away from the romantic comedies and stick to action movies with hunky guy or sexy girl leads. What better way to get your mind off your new ex than watching Gerard Butler shirtless in the movie 300? You can’t answer that because there isn’t one. Also, the violence and explosions will force all those painful and angry feelings to the surface, which leads me to my next point: venting.
We all do it. We’ve all been victims of our friend’s endless complaints about an ex, and we’ve all victimized our friends for the same reason. It’s basically an endless circle of shameless self-pity. It’s okay, we’ve all been there and this is a shout out to all of my friends because I am quite possibly the biggest offender. So this is where your best friends come in handy. It’s an unspoken agreement that during your B.U.R.N., you get to say as much as you want about whatever you want for as long as you want. Afterwards though, it’s your civic duty to keep the gushing sadness to a minimum, especially amongst the friends who listened to you during your B.U.R.N. This is a “free pass” on getting to complain as much as you want without your friends getting annoyed by you, and believe me you’re going to want to take advantage of this.
After all is said and done, I cannot say that you will feel completely cured of your heartache, but I can say that this is a solid step forward in the right direction. Talking about your feelings and what is on your mind is very important because these thoughts can be self-destructive if you keep them all to yourself. That being said, constantly talking about your feelings for an ex can also be self-destructive, so this helps to get rid of the excess emotions and lays the groundwork for a healthy recovery. Like I said, breakups are hard, and the reason they are so tough is because they are unpredictable and have no set time limit for how long it will take you to heal. Having a successful B.U.R.N. will force you back onto your feet to take that first step towards happiness. So get out there ladies and gents: grab your Doritos (and maybe some wine), pick up a copy of “The Dark Knight Rises,” find some reluctantly willing friends, and take control of your recovery.