I had a request to blog about friendship this week. What makes a good friend? Well, let me tell you right now that I might not be the most qualified person to cover this subject, but I do have some insight. I read quotes, thought about songs, and truly considered what I think friendship is, but I didn’t want to think about it because, now that I have to, I have tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat. Friendship is… A friend is…
1. Reciprocal
A friendship requires both parties to be active participants. If one is participating and the other is not, you have to face the truth: that person isn’t really your friend. They will use and abuse you, and you’ll take what they dish out, because you care about them and want to be their friend. Draw new-found knowledge from these poor relationships to create new, better, and sometimes everlasting friendships.
2. Accepting and Supportive, but Not Pacifying
“A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow.” William Shakespeare Â
“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:17
A true friend knows where you are. They accept you for who you are and what you’re going through, but they refuse to let you stay in any bad place for too long. They know there is more to you than your current struggle and present pain.
3. Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone
“You can’t stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.” A.A. Milne
My mom and dad used to tell me that, in order to make friends, you have to make yourself friendly. I’ve discovered that to be true, but it doesn’t always make it easy (even if it is effective). I’m not the kind of person who just walks up to people to claim their friendship as my own. But I want to be. I want that confidence, and I’ve been working on it. If we keep working to increase that confidence, it may eventually become second nature. Â
4. Transformational
“I think if I’ve learned anything about friendship, it’s to hang in, stay connected, fight for them, and let them fight for you. Don’t walk away, don’t be distracted, don’t be too busy or too tired, don’t take them for granted. Friends are part of the glue that holds life and faith together. Powerful stuff.” Jon Katz
Friendship really changes your life, if you allow it to do so. If you allow yourself to get close enough to good friends, the people that really care for you, your life will be changed.
5. Uplifting
“If you have good friends, no matter how much life is sucking, they can make you laugh.” P.C. Cast
“A friend knows the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails.” Donna Roberts
Another friend of mine, just tonight, came to see me and made me smile. He always makes me laugh, and I don’t know what I’ve done without him in my life up until this point. I’m glad it’s only the second week of school so we have the rest of the year to be friends. Do you have a friend that constantly lifts you up? To build a great friendship, aim to become closer with that person.
6. Withstanding All Circumstances, All Distances, All Changes
“The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.” Elisabeth Foley
That truly is a mark of a true friend. I’ve found that to be so true.
Going back to my friend who is now married. Even though our lives are going in different directions, we’re always there for each other. We’re just a text or call away, no matter how the distance between us. That is beautiful. That is the kind of friendship for which we should strive.
For fun, here are some classic songs about friendship:
For those with two best friends
For those who are into singer-songwriters Carole King and James Taylor
For those of you who just want to tell everyone about your best friend
Tell us about your friendship in the comments below!