With the start of the new school year comes the inevitable: new suite mates and/or roommates. No matter what year you are or how close you are to the people you are living with, it is guaranteed that at some point you are going to get on each other’s nerves for one reason or another. In order to make your living situation as smooth and enjoyable as possible, here are some important tips you should try out:
1)Â Communicate: The key to any kind of relationship, whether it be with roommates, suite mates, friends, significant others, you name it is communication. You need to feel comfortable telling your suite mates or roommate what the ground rules you want to set, what time you want the lights off, if you like music on while you are trying to study or even if they say something to you that hurts your feelings or bothers you–you need to be able to talk about it with them. Suppressing your feelings and attempting to avoid conflict on makes the problem worse because then your emotions build up and your issues never get resolved. Do yourself and your roommate/suitemate a favor and just tell them what is on your mind.
2) Make rules for the space: Early on, set the rules that you want upheld during the time you are living there. Make sure people know what stuff in the fridge is yours, where you keep your snacks, what stuff is free for all to share, which stuff is for you alone. Set times that you want the space to be quiet, whether that means friends leave the room by midnight or conversations in the common room move into a room with a door closed. It is important that you are able to live in the space and feel comfortable there knowing that everyone is on the same page and that you don’t have to worry about people taking your things or keeping you up at night.
3) Make a chore chart: I know this sounds ridiculous, but believe me, it’s important! If you are living in a suite style room or off-campus with three or four friends then make sure to set some cleaning order.  The space will get messy really fast, especially with the inevitable get-togethers one of your roommates will want to have or even just living there. It is important that you are living in a clean space so you avoid bug problems and any unnecessary conflicts with the roommates about cleanliness. The solution: make a chart and cycle through the chart by assigning jobs that rotate every week, two weeks, month, whatever makes the most sense with the group you are living with. This will ensure that everyone does their part and that the token neat freak is not the only person cleaning up the suite.
4) Pick your battles wisely: When living with people, they will probably do things that get on your nerves. My advice is to pick your battles, meaning, be selective about you want to confront them about. I wouldn’t blow up over something menial like one dirty plate in the sink, but weeks old food in the communal fridge might be worth mentioning. Unnecessary comments about little things that might bother you but are in reality not a big deal at and cause conflict that might not have needed to be there in the first place. When living with people you’ll need to learn how to loosen up, but at the same time if something is really bothering you then communicate it in a respectful manner in order to ensure that your needs are met.
5)Â Finally, know yourself: Everyone has those horror stories of the roommate or suitemate they did not get along with. This is unavoidable when you come to college. You might end up living with people and discover that you and they are not compatible living partners. This is not the end of the world. My advice if you come upon this situation is try and resolve whatever issue you have, and if the issue is past resolution, talk to your CA about a possible room switch, or see if they can help remedy the situation. You are not married to your roommate. You have flexibility if you are really miserable in your room and the last thing you want to do is put yourself in a situation that you are not comfortable in especially since it’s your living space you should feel like it is your second home. Make sure to advocate for yourself and if you know you are unhappy then do something.