- Hoarding things is really cool.
Admit it, the minute you saw The Little Mermaid, specifically Ariel’s crazy-awesome collection of human artifacts (life-size statue of Prince Eric, anyone?), you began your collection of junk just like hers. We all have this stuff—the cup you got for free at Perkins that had a really cool design on it (so naturally you were going to use it all the time), the mini stuffed turtle you won at a carnival when you were 13, and every strand of party beads that you’ve ever gotten. Ever.
This is all fine and dandy when you’re young and have room for it. Then comes college. Although I will never ACTUALLY wear the purple feather boa that I wore to my high school homecoming, or play with the free Treasure Island Frisbee I got at a parade, it’s all coming with me to my tiny little apartment.
Call a moving truck Mom and Dad; maybe if I’m lucky I can even bring my life-size statue of Ryan Gosling (a girl can dream, right?)
- When you lose something, it will make it back to you one way or another.
Although we aren’t all lucky enough to be Cinderella, because let’s be honest, who wouldn’t want to wear a ball gown every day, we still tend to think our lives can be like hers in at least one aspect. What are the chances that after losing a priceless glass slipper (how do you only lose ONE shoe?) it will be returned to you, and by a prince nonetheless? Apparently pretty high, as Cinderella thoroughly convinced every adolescent girl that what is lost will be found. My favorite bracelet fell off on the way to class—have no fear, it will magically turn up in a couple weeks. My phone got stolen at a party—the person who “accidently” took it will return it the next day.
To the select few who have been lucky enough to find their lost possessions, you should probably start tiara shopping right now.
- Be sure to set plenty of booby traps every time you’re home alone.
Everyone remembers the first time they watched Home Alone as a kid. Therein started the dreams about what it would be like when Mom and Dad left and you had the house to yourself. My activity of choice was usually jumping on the bed and eating all of the junk food I could find until a food coma set in, and then laying on the couch and watching TV all day. Exciting stuff, right? Now, if you wanted to be like Macaulay Culkin, after the junk-food-eating came the booby-trap-setting. The burglars are on their way and there’s no stopping it. Anyone have any spare clothing irons lying around? Feathers? Anyone?
Or you could just lock the doors like a normal person, your choice.
- Studying abroad will lead to becoming a famous pop star.
I remember it like it was yesterday. I was walking down Via del Corso in Rome, when all of a sudden a man came up to me and asked me to perform with him in a show that night. I sang my little heart out and the rest is history. If you’re Lizzie McGuire that is probably exactly what happened to you, too. “When in Rome do as the Romans do,” right? Well Lizzie, I went to a foreign country and I ate their ice cream. I was not mistaken for a famous pop star, but instead a clueless American who had a funny accent (oh wait, that isn’t a mistake, I actually am a clueless American.) Am I the only one who missed out on this awesome experience?
I’m studying abroad in Rome this spring—second time’s a charm, right?
- You are nothing unless you have long, voluptuous hair that can support the weight of a full-grown man.
Although Tangled is a more recent movie, the story is one that we all heard while growing up: girl trapped in tower, knight in shining armor climbs up her hair to save her, they live happily ever after. The thing about Tangled is, Rapunzel has some serious attachment issues to her hair—she actually thinks someone is trying to steal it because it’s so long and beautiful (and magical, but that’s besides the point.)
Extensions, deep conditioning treatments, hair dye, styling gel, straighteners, the list goes on and on. Why couldn’t all Disney movies show the princess with short hair? Imagine the money we would save if it were the cool thing to have a pixie cut in your (gasp!) natural color.
Rapunzel, I blame you for the $70 I will be spending to get my hair done next week. Is there a chance my stylist will look like Flynn Rider? Once again, a girl can dream.
It’s true that I only mentioned 5 things here, but rest assured there are plenty other movies that may have scarred us for life. Let’s not forget Sleeping Beauty—I remember when I slept for 6 days straight and woke up fresh as a daisy with absolutely no makeup running down my face. Don’t even get me started on Toy Story—I cried for days when I got a Buzz action figure for Christmas and it didn’t actually fly. Stay strong girls, we’ll make it through this somehow.