While college can be one of the most exciting times in a person’s life, it can also be the most stressful. With moving to a new city, meeting new people, and embracing your newfound freedom, higher education proves to be a truly life-altering period. The importance of a college education can hardly be understated, but nothing can ruin these academic years more than living with the roommate from hell. Indeed, the wrong circumstances can turn a healthy, successful roommate relationship from “BFF” to World War III. The following guidelines will help foster a successful roomie relationship and boost your chances of an excellent year:
#1: Establish Rules Immediately
Whether you’re already good friends or complete strangers you’ll need to establish rules immediately. Your rules can be anything you want them to be- from “don’t touch my cereal” to “no loud music after 10 p.m.” You and your roommate need to talk to one another and establish rules that will help make living together much easier. Sure, having this sort of talk can seem a bit awkward at first, but you’ll both be glad for it when you hear your friends complain about their roommates.
#2: Make a Schedule
Schedules can make living together easier and help diminish useless arguments. You can set up a cleaning schedule, with which you can decide on specific times to meet up and clean common areas. Additionally, you could set up a morning regime if you and your roommate have a similar schedule so all involved have adequate time using shared spaces (e.g. bathroom). While such schedules may seem silly and a waste of time, they are for the benefit of both parties in the long haul.
#3: Talk to Each Other
Be cordial to one another. Your roommate may have the voice of Fran Dresher or perhaps talk about her boyfriend far too much for your poor ears to bear, but nurturing a line of communication is critical to having a healthy roommate relationship. He or she could be the most annoying person on the planet, but you should still be polite and engaging. It’ll help the year go by a lot easier.
#4: Share
While you don’t have to share with your roommate, you should make it clear up-front what you will or will not share. You can choose to share some things, like kitchenware or toilet paper, but maybe not other things, such as food. Some roommates do choose to share food, but make sure to establish food-sharing rules with your roommate and come to an agreement. Usually, you should talk about what you intend on sharing or not sharing before you move in with each other so you know to bring your own supplies if needed.
#5: Keep it Clean
Cleanliness is perhaps the greatest source of roommate conflict. When you’re living in close proximity to another person, it is important to not be a complete slob. This means cleaning up after yourself thoroughly, but also being tolerant of small messes on the part of your roomie- don’t expect your roommate to be completely spotless either! Try to agree to a middle ground. One option for maintaining tidiness is to create a weekly chore list or schedule. The important thing here is to talk with your roommate and find the best course of action to keep everything clean.
#6: Lock It Up
Many freshmen who come to college usually live with a stranger and while that stranger might seem nice and trusting, it’s important to remember to lock up your valuables. Theft is one of the most common crimes on college campuses. Lock your important things in a trunk, safe, or other theft-proof location- or make sure to lock your door before you leave. If something of yours goes missing and only your roommate had access to it, it puts great strain on the relationship and it may result in irreparable damage. Nothing ruins a relationship more than accusing someone of being a thief, which can make living together brutal. So, lock up your valuables until you’re able to establish thorough trust with one another.
#7: Decorations Agreement
You can decorate your bedroom or your side of the bedroom anyway you want but, remember, you share the common areas- kitchen, living room, and bathroom. Discuss decorations first with your roommate before buying. Don’t simply take it upon yourself to decorate. If you decorate everything in pink and your roommate hates pink- there could be problem. The common places are to be shared equally and everyone has a say.
#8: Parties
It’s college and college students like to party. House parties are very popular around campuses, but before you throw one, it is beyond critical to consult your roommate first. Your roommate may have an important biochemistry exam in the morning and need to pull an all-nighter. Throwing a party on such a night wouldn’t be the best idea. Talk to each other and discuss when the best time for a party would be. If your roommate isn’t a partier, give him or her a heads-up on when you would like to have a party so that he or she can be doing something else come party time. And, if you do have party, make sure to clean up afterwards- it’s only polite.
#9: Establish your Relationship Status
No, this isn’t Facebook, but it is important to decide what you want your relationship with your roommate to be. Decide if you’re going to try to be friends and roommates or just roommates. Some people just want a roommate- not a friend. While some students find that being friends with their roommates makes the year much more tolerable, others find the entire relationship to be far simpler if friendship is left out of the picture.
#10: Think Twice Before Living with Your Best Friend
If you and your best friend are thinking of living together, discuss the above rules at length before signing a lease together. Living with your best friend can sometimes be a terrible idea, especially if you two have different living styles and might not know it. Remember: friendships can end over dirty dishes.
Having a roommate is part of the college experience and it doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Your roommate can become one of your best friends. By following a few general guidelines, it can turn out to be a great year!