Dear Real Life College Guy,
I’m recently single and am a bit rusty in the dating scene. What do guys think about girls making the first move? How am I supposed to get a guy’s attention AND keep it?
Sincerely,
Out of the Loop
Dear Out of the Loop,
Being back on the market after dating someone for a while can be tough. Frankly, the best way to shake off those cobwebs is to have some confidence in your flirt game – confidence is key. You’ll find it much easier to be successful in meeting guys if you approach the night optimistically.
So here’s the scenario: you’re at a party, it’s Friday night, you’re chatting with some girlfriends, and then BAM – a guy across the room catches your eye. And as luck would have it, he’s just your type! But what now?
Let’s be honest. Generally speaking, you would be hard-pressed to meet a guy who isn’t down with the idea of a girl making the first move. I wholeheartedly disagree with the notion that guys should always be the one to text first, start a conversation, etc. Yes, this usually is what happens, but cut us some slack! In the long run, we’re all trying to flirt, so why not make it easier on us by making the first move? Going back to the confidence factor I was talking about earlier, you demonstrate a high level of confidence by being the one to initiate conversation. Not only does it show you’re interested, but it can also make a good impression on the guy – most guys think confidence is sexy!
Of course, you need to be careful to not be too aggressive when making the first move. Try to avoid being too touchy-feely. Don’t walk up to your dream guy, grab onto his arm, and gush about how you noticed him from across the move. That being said, subtle touching might be beneficial – “accidentally” brushing up against him, for instance. But generally speaking, making the first move has the potential to gain you some major points with the guy.
Now let’s say you don’t want to make the first move. There’s nothing wrong with that, but unless he’s already paying attention to you, you’ve got to do something to make him notice you. And that brings us to the next topic: playing hard to get.
Playing “hard to get” in the dating game is the ultimate version of Cat and Mouse. There is a VERY fine line between what’s acceptable and what isn’t. Back to our scenario: you’ve just made eye contact with this guy across the room, and you want to get him to talk to you. The easiest thing you can do is drop a casual smile at him – sometimes that alone is enough reason for the guy to come over and talk to you, given he’s interested. If not, you were just giving a friendly smile the whole time! And if you’re feeling particularly ambitious, a smile and a wink make your intentions loud and clear. Note: If none of this works but you’re still interested in the guy, you might just have to be the first to make the move.
But for the sake of the scenario, pretend the guy comes up to you to talk.
Some DO’s and DON’T’s:
DO introduce yourself at the very least.
DON’T pretend to ignore his efforts to talk. Guys hate that.
DO give him some sort of compliment when the time is right! It’s usually unexpected and can get you some more points.
DON’T try to make him more into you by acting disinterested (playing hard to get). You can still play “hard to get”, but make sure you don’t come off as merely a tease. That probably won’t get you very far.
Every guy has a different idea of the right way to flirt, but by following some of the flirting tips above, you’ll be putting yourself in a great position to spark the fire.
Sincerly,
RLCG