You’ve been crazy in love with your boyfriend from high school or home and you always feel at ease when you’re around him. You wholeheartedly believe no one else could make you happier. But eventually, the two of you have to split ways for college. The problem? You both swore that you would remain together no matter what. This leads to the long-distance relationship.
Now, there are two groups of people—people who “believe in” long-distance relationships and people who don’t. Some say that they are hard, test faithfulness and honesty, and can cause stress. I know a few people who have had a rough time with their long-distance relationships, and they won’t ever go back to that.
But just because a few people may have bad love stories about their high school or summer lovers, it doesn’t mean that other people will go through the same difficulties. For some lucky folks, a long distance relationship may end up bringing the couple closer. It all just depends on how people may act in a relationship and what they treasure the most out of it. Maybe some of you are deciphering whether or not to continue this relationship. If that is you, below I have arranged a pro-con list concerning this subject. I’m sure all Type A personalities out there will greatly appreciate my list…
Pro: The emotional bonding becomes stronger.
Once the two of you split ways, you get to know your guy at a more emotional level. You talk to him about your time in college, your new friends, or any other exciting thing that has happened in your new transition. Likewise, he will share about his experiences. You spend hours communicating with him and you learn to understand him more. The distance allowed for less of the “lust” part of the relationship and can focus more on the “love” part.
Pro: More focus on self-development
College is a time for you to find out what you want to make out of yourself during the four years ahead of you. With less time about your boyfriend and more time for yourself, you have the chance to maintain a healthy and active lifestyle, engaging in different activities and exploring possible pathways for the future. Basically, you can feel less tied down.
Pro: Treasure the precious moments you two spend together.
You two probably can only see each other during fall break, Thanksgiving break, Winter Break…you get the idea. It’s hard to see each other, which is why the moments you do have together are precious and amazing. You learn to not take things for granted and appreciate every minute you spend with him. This can make the relationship feel more meaningful and worth it.
Con: You can feel lonely at times.
Admit it, there are times when you feel stressed, times when you want to cry, and times when you just want a hug. Usually, your boyfriend is the one who is by your side when you need support the most. But now he is not with you much anymore, and all you can do is wish that he was. Sometimes, a phone call or a vent-session with a friend can help out.
Con: Much less physical intimacy
You can’t hold his hand, hug him, kiss him…nothing. The only touching that happens is the occasional brush of the laptop screen during your evening Skype sessions. It’s just unfortunate that you can’t even kiss or hug your boyfriend, which sometimes makes the relationship difficult.
Con: Conflicts can be more challenging to resolve
Fights happen in long distance relationships. Sometimes, they can happen more in these relationships than in a more traditional one. Whether it is about a picture of you and a guy hall-mate you uploaded on Facebook, or an argument about how he forgot to send you a gift for your birthday, conflicts just seem harder to resolve. You two can refuse to talk to each other and not even answer texts or phone calls when you’re mad—a terribly frustrating process, I must say. It’s not like you can just drive and try to figure things out. Just trust that you both will pass by the rough patches and know that things were fine all along.
For those in long-distance relationships, I respect what you all are going through. They are hard, but the idea of having a boyfriend who is with you through thick and thin is a great reward.
Until next time,
Aphrodite