Uni is the three years of your life when you’re free to go wild without the worries of your parents finding out, or a 9-5 job to wake up to (ignoring the whole lecture situation here). For many students sex is a big part of this lifestyle, and one night stands are a popular way to get it! But is it ever a good idea to see your one night stand again?
The traditional approach to dating – the dinner date and meal, wine ‘em and dine ‘em method – isn’t familiar to many students. It’s expensive, there’s potential for it to go wrong, and let’s face it…it’s a lot of effort when there’s the option of meeting someone in a nightclub. But the one night stand route to a boyfriend may be an unconventional method for a reason. Kornelia Bala, 2nd year English student says “If you’ve already slept together, the guy won’t feel the need to chase you so won’t put as much effort in”. This could make things difficult in the early days of dating; it’s important that you both put in an equal amount of effort. If you begin to feel like you’re giving more than you are getting you should maybe question how interested he is in having a committed relationship.
Another risk is that your relationship becomes very focused on sex instead of on other equally or more important things. Remember to get out of the bedroom sometimes and have some fun experiences together so you can get to know him in other ways. Importantly, don’t let the fun you’re having mask any major flaws in the relationship. While you’re dating or in the early days of a relationship, you’re still getting to know each other, and this means that you might find out you don’t really have that spark that will make you work as a couple. If you find you’re having sex to fill awkward silences where you have nothing to talk about, there’s probably something wrong!
We spoke to our Real Life College Guy, Ash, to find out what he thought about making a go of it with a one night stand. He was a bit bemused at first because, he claims, “I wouldn’t expect a girl to be interested in a relationship if we’d just had a one night stand”. And Ash isn’t alone in thinking this – the casual approach that some people have to sex would suggest they’re not interested in much more. So if you do want to try to bag a date, make it clear to him that that’s what you want! You need to be forward enough to show your interest but honest enough for him to know that next time you meet up, you want a different scenario to the one night stand.
So we asked Real Life College Guy if he’d ever make the next move with a former one night stand. “If she’s worth it, then yeah, I’d go for it!” he says. Which highlights a point: regardless of how you met or how far you’ve already been together, if you think someone is worth putting the effort in for, you shouldn’t be scared to go for it! The fact that you’ve already slept together doesn’t doom your relationship by any means.
So, Her Campus’ conclusion is…go for it, you’ve got nothing to lose! But tread carefully and take it slowly from here, because while you might know him well in one way, you’ve got a lot to learn in others!
Edited by Luisa Parnell