Brandeis is a complicated place and it takes a bit of time to learn what is and is not acceptable around campus. Please allow us to give you some ‘Deisian etiquette tips along with a helpful list of Do’s and Don’ts:
1. The Rabb Steps: You should be cursing every step you force yourself to take, not stopping to have a conversation with your bestie about last night’s rager at Chums.
2. The Mod Crosswalk: Press the button if it’s dark out, or better yet, every time you need to cross. Cars can’t see you when you’re bundled up in your jet-black puffy jacket.
3. Just because there’s a party in a mod, doesn’t mean you were invited. An open party is an open party but if someone is wearing a birthday hat, then get out.
4. Don’t tell someone to be quiet in the green room. It’s the green room.
5. Don’t talk in the dungeon. It’s not the green room.
6. Class is not therapy- watch what you share. Connecting big ideas is great but we don’t need to hear about your grandpa accidentally peeing on you during your family vacation.
7. Margarita’s is not a five star restaurant and Joe Sent Me is not the only bar in Waltham.
8. Don’t slap your friend if you hook up with the same person. There are only so many cute Brandeis students to go around.
9. The BranVan is small. We can all hear you talk about your bowel movements.
10. “Is this a meal?” Unless it’s your first week or aliens abducted your brain, you learn quickly what constitutes a meal, and if you don’t know, figure it out before you get in front of 20 hungry students.
11. Go to the Rose. It’s not just some building next to IBS. They actually have art and it’s free. In the real world, people charge you to look at this stuff.
12. Don’t post your semester schedule on Facebook. I’m sure you’re really excited to take Hip Hop and Culture but we don’t care that you have it every Monday and Wednesday from 12 to 2.
13. Don’t walk on the treadmill when there are 8 people in line waiting to run. Put on your coat and go walk up the east hill if you need some incline.
14. A phone call is an intimate thing. When you speak in another language, we can still hear you. Use an inside voice.
15. The Mandel fireplace is a place for sharing. If you move your seat directly in front of it, you are asking for trouble.