The documentary My Time Now, chronicles the life of Nicki Minaj on her journey toward becoming a hip-hop artist. The interviewers ask her about times throughout her career when she was demanding, or expected things done a certain way. Minaj makes the point that when Lil Wayne expects things done a certain way he is never questioned, but when she expects the same level of treatment she is automatically seen in a negative light. Minaj says, “When I am assertive, I’m a b*tch. When a man is assertive, he’s a boss.” This is similar to what Facebook COO Sheyrl Sandberg had in mind when she wrote “Lean In,” a book that discusses the negative connotations surrounding the word bossy. A group of Fairfield students and professors, led by Rachel Lang ’14 and Laura Marciano ’08, got together Thursday night in the library multimedia room to have a conversation regarding this issue.
Laura Marciano started the conversation by pointing out something a male student said during one of her classes, “women are dying each day…and you are concerned about a word?” What Sheryl Sandberg, and the women sharing stories are striving to engrain in the minds of all men and women is that the word itself is not negative but the meaning behind it is problematic.
Simply getting rid of the word is not enough, and it is only a matter of time before another word takes its place. Sandberg is striving to change the context in which bossy is being used rather than changing the word itself. It is time to see the word as a positive attribute in a leader rather than a negative one.
Emily Hayes ’17 told the story of when she and her younger cousins put on a play. Emily took charge and planned every detail, which included making tickets for her family members to watch the show. That day she became known as the bossy family member; each time the story is retold the idea of being bossy makes her more, and more uncomfortable. This is correlated with the idea that being bossy is a negative attribute.
Emily is in the process of starting a Lean In Club on campus; which will focus on discussing different women’s issues in hopes to eventually host speakers on campus. Emily said, “Controversy isn’t over the word, it’s about the meaning put behind the word.”
The Ban Bossy Campaign wants women to make their views known without worrying about negative labels. Research shows that as young women enter middle and high school they tend to participate less in classrooms. They are also less likely to run for leadership positions in student government. This is because girls are often described as “bossy” and “overly ambitious” whereas boys are usually described as “strong” and “determined.”
In Nicki Minaj’s documentary she says, “When you’re a girl you have to be everything. You have to be dope at what you do, but you have to be super-sweet, and you have to be sexy, and you have to be this…I can’t be all those things at once. I’m a human being.”
Laura Marciano made a similar point during the Thursday evening presentation, “as women we are called to be superhuman.” There is a belief that women must be creative, kind, smart, beautiful, friendly, and every other adjective you can imagine. It is time that we destroy these gender stereotypes and changing the meaning behind the word bossy is the first step.
Rachel Lang studied abroad in Tanzania last year and ended the evening with a line from the poem of a Tanzanian girl. She read, “Dada, you are as bright as the stars in the sky.” Dada means sister in Swahili. I want to extend this message to all the women of Fairfield University. You are definitely “as bright as the stars in the sky” and do not let the fear of being deemed bossy or a b*tch keep you from fulfilling your greatest potential.
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Sources:Â http://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/bul-a0035740.pdf