How to Turn a New Friend Into a Best Friend

The quality of our lives are linked to the quality of our relationships.

There is nothing more important in life than our relationships, particularly our friendships.  Yet it is confounding how little information there is on this topic, and, conversely, it is sad that there are so many lonely people.  All of us want friends, but some of us don’t know a lot about how to go about making new friends and turning a new friend into a best friend.

In order to make new friends, you have to build on acquaintances.

1.)    Take the first step by saying something nice.  

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Take some initiative. Start with a little boost of words. A compliment or a kind word. It’s a good icebreaker.

2.)    Find a common interest.

 Keep in mind the things that people mention to you in previous conversations. You can bring these topics up again in conversation. Following upon that, you can find things that you two have in common. Common interests can be a great basis for healthy friendships. You both enjoy jogging, so tell them you’ve been searching for a running buddy. 

3.)    Ask them about their weekend/tell them about yours.  

Show genuine interest in someone else’s life, and it will almost always be reciprocated.  Share a tid bit of info about what happened to you at a bar last Saturday night or talk about how great your hike was. When you let someone know that you are active, you become more appealing in their eyes. People become curious about you. They’ll remember, “Oh, Jenny has such exciting weekends.” You can build upon these interactions by saying, “Yeah, it was fun.  Would you like to come next time?”

4.)    Invite them to do things with you.

Good job breaking the ice. Now, exchange contact information. Obtain her or his number and possibly add them on Facebook. Then, ask them if they’d like to meet you for lunch on or off campus, at the mall on a weekend, or whatever you think would intrigue the both of you. If they have other plans, don’t let that deter you from asking on a later date. Just don’t be excessively asking them to do things, but that should go without saying.

5.)    In order to have a friend, be a friend. 

Always remember that friendship is about giving someone your time and care.  People will always remember those who reached out during a hard time or stood by them when their lives became troubled.  This isn’t always easy to do.  Sometimes, friendship involves sacrifice and going out of your comfort zone.

Importantly, don’t rush it. Friendships don’t always happen overnight. The most important thing about pursuing friendships is that it sensitizes us to the fact that we need to be consciously working towards being our “higher selves.” All of us have personal strengths and weaknesses.  The more we work on developing our strengths and minimizing our weaknesses in our personal relationships, the more good relationships will emerge in our lives, and, voila! Friends! 

Twitter: @julitacardenas

• college life
• friendships