So with the spring semester rapidly ending, it looks like most of us are starting to prepare for our summer jobs and internships. While we have a ton of hopes and expectations for what they can bring us, one thing we’re never expecting or hoping to experience is sexual harassment.
According to the United States Equal Employment Opportunities Commission, sexual harassment is “unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical harassment of a sexual nature. Harassment does not have to be of a sexual nature, however, and can include offensive remarks about a person’s sex.”
You would think sexual harassment in the workplace is a problem that belongs in the 1950s and 1960s, but a 2013 poll conducted by HuffPost and YouGov shows that even today, 13% of adults have been sexually harassed by a boss or superior, while 19% have been sexually harassed by another coworker. Another 21% of these adults said they’ve witnessed a coworker being sexually harassed. But the numbers that I find the most startling are that out of the adults who have been harassed, 70% never reported it, and out of the ones who witnessed someone else being harassed, 61% never reported it.
With astonishing numbers like these, it’s safe to say that this is a problem that needs to be addressed. However, recently some people have been suggesting that the best way to deal with sexual harassment in the workplace is to not address it at all. These people are encouraging victims of harassment to stay silent and not report their harassers. While sexual harassment can and does happen to anyone, most of these comments are specifically directed towards women.
Now, I am not at all saying that victims of sexual harassment (or assault or abuse for that matter) have to report what’s happened to them. If this person feels too uncomfortable, for whatever reason, no one can force them to report. The choice is 100% theirs and we should respect it no matter what.
However, telling women that they shouldn’t report sexual harassment can be extremely damaging for the current work environment they are in, and here are a few reasons why…
1. The victim becomes blamed for their harassment.
A common reason people claim a woman should not report sexual harassment is because it could cause her to lose her job. While this is absolutely true, why are the women who have been harassed being told this is their fault and not the employers who are the ones actually firing people?
In an article published on LinkedIn, one woman suggests “…you can’t get another job if you start making a public stink about harassment. Because no one wants to be around someone who can’t get along, and part of getting along at work is dealing with harassment without killing your career.” This isn’t good advice; this is victim blaming. This logic suggests that if you’re sexually harassed, report it, and get fired, it’s your fault, not the harasser or the company that fired you. This logic isn’t just irrational, it’s completely unacceptable and even dangerous.
2. It reinforces ridiculous gender stereotypes.
Another reason for not reporting sexual harassment is the age-old argument “boys will be boys.” In the same LinkedIn article, the author says, “will men stop thinking of women as sexual at work? No. That would be impossible. Men are pre-programmed to think about sex. How can we tell them to stop thinking about sex?” This statement isn’t just incorrect, it’s completely backwards and reinforces gender stereotypes.
When we assume men are constantly thinking about sex, we’re one, excusing some men’s horrific treatment of people in their office, and two, diminishing the credibility of male sexual harassment victims and making them less likely be taken seriously. The mindset that “men can’t help it” is another argument that is completely illogical, and frankly, bullsh*t.
3. It doesn’t actually help fix the problem.
Finally, when people tell women to ignore their sexual harassment, the actual problem isn’t being solved. Instead, it’s being swept under the rug. If someone chooses to handle his/her harassment by ignoring it and it works in that particular situation, it was their decision on how to handle it and that’s okay. However, ignoring it can’t and doesn’t work for everyone. If harassers’ inappropriate and terrible behavior isn’t being addressed, what is stopping them from doing it again? If no one talks about it, what will drive employers to address and attempt to fix the problem? The truth is, if we tell all women to just ignore their harassment, and the conversation ends there, we aren’t moving forward. We aren’t fixing anything.
I do not doubt at all that the core intention of this advice is to help women. The reality though is that telling women they shouldn’t report sexual harassment is just counterproductive.
Collegiettes, instead of telling people to ignore the problem, let’s fight for a better handling of sexual harassment in the workplace and provide all victims of sexual harassment, regardless of gender identity, with the comfort and support they deserve.
(If you or someone you know is a victim of sexual harassment, you can find support and more resources here.)