Brian Park ’18

Name: Brian Park

Year: Freshman

Major: Undeclared Pre-med

Hometown: Hewlett, New York

Relationship Status: Quite single

Who would play you in a movie about your life and why?

Come on, Casey. Well like, that’d be impossible. You can’t pull me off. You know what I mean? I respect actors, but no one can pull me off. I don’t think so.

What’s the most played song on your iPod?

[He checks his phone.] “Thinking about You” by Frank Ocean. He’s my boy.

You’re in Phi Kappa Theta. What do you like about your fraternity?

They’re all dank. It’s low-key. There’s a real sense of brotherhood. None of them are douche bags, other than me. There’s a real sense of diversity. And they’re all dank.

What is something you definitely want to do before you graduate Pitt?

Be Campus Cutie. Or be valedictorian.

What would be your ideal date?

Damn. I wasn’t prepared for these kinds of questions. I was prepared for “why Pitt?” Okay: All-you-can-eat sushi, because it’s expensive, but not too expensive where I’d get wrecked. And I like sushi. Plus, if my date was not down with all-you-can-eat sushi I would not be going on a date with her. I like sushi.

What quality do you find most attractive in another person?

Ability to laugh at themselves. That shows not only do you know your own weaknesses, but you’re willing to embrace them.

What is a good quote to live by?

My favorite quote these days is by Andy Warhol. He said, “People should fall in love with their eyes closed.” I stand by that statement. Although if you’re quite attractive it can’t hurt. I do not go by a number scale.

What natural disaster would you be if you were one?

Wow. Let’s look up a list of natural disasters. [Searches phone.] What’s like the most unique natural disaster; like, the rarest natural disaster? I need something that makes enough of an impact where you feel it but I don’t wanna kill too many people. I’m like that pebble in space that comes at the earth. So I don’t kill too many people but I’m still a big deal ‘cause I’m coming at you from space so you have to deal with me.

If you could only watch one movie for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Part of me wants to say Inception ‘cause I just love that movie but…what’s like a movie that teaches you a really good moral lesson? ‘Cause if I’m gonna watch something for the rest of my life it’s gotta teach me something. I think the Pursuit of Happiness with Will Smith. I think if I had to watch that everyday that’d be fine.

If you could live anywhere in the world for a year, where would you choose and why?

South Korea. I have a lot of Korean pride. I have never actually spent significant time there. But if I want to be the number one Korean, I have to spend significant time there. Plus, them Korean girls. Dank. Can’t be beat.

Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?

Um, hopefully I’m a little taller. Hopefully done with med school. Just as chill. Hopefully no more acne.

Can a girl make the first move?

The idea that that is a question pisses me off because it should be a given that they can make the first move. The idea that I am almost expected by society to make the first move pisses me off, not because I’m making a feminist statement but because I am just too lazy.

What’s a good present a girl could get her boyfriend for Christmas?

Hmm…for a girl in general, what you should get your man for Christmas is a blow – I’m kidding! Oh a next gen. console with two controllers so that you can play as well. If that’s not financially possible, then a nice big hug and a hearty meal. If possible, both. That’d be dank.

Now Brian, why Pitt?

So, Chancellor Gallagher was like “bruh [he requested for this spelling], come through to Pitt, I’ll throw you mad paper. Like mad paper.” Also, I could not realistically afford a Dartmouth education. So the choice was obvious. I chose to take my talents to Oakland.

Image credit: Cutie

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