It has been scientifically proven that the phrase “new year, new me” is the cringiest thing in existence. Having said that, we at HerCampus have decided to make the most of the New Year to introduce some new rules into the Girl Code. For us, being a sassy, kind, and thoughtful lady means taking this pledge: I sincerely swear…
1. To never put a guy above my friends. We all have that one friend who makes plans with us and then cancels them because “Dan is coming over – and he’s bringing Titanic” Adorable? Yes. Acceptable? Hell no! To quote Charlotte from Sex and the City: our friends are our soulmates, and guys are just people to have fun with. Take note, you Serial Re-arrangers.
2. To never tell my friend her new haircut looks God-awful. Sometimes, people make mistakes. A hair cut is a classic example – but, unlike most situations, it’s pretty irreversible. If your friend has just shaved half of her head off and asks “do you like it?” then what good will it do to tell her she looks like she’s part of an 80s tribute band? Sometimes, lying is simply the kindest way forward.
3. To never ask for advice then do the opposite. Oh, this is the most aggravating thing in existence. Your friend asks you if you think she should get a lip piercing and you say “Oh, God no. You will look like a massive idiot…” and then you list all the reasons that this would be a mahoosive mistake. She listens, nods, and says she agrees. The next day, guess whose lip piercing is at the top of your Instagram feed? And now it’s too awkward to compliment it because she knows you hate it. The struggle is literally so real.
4. To never call another girl a “psycho”. It’s so easy to hate the girl that used to go out with your boyfriend, or the girl who likes the dreamy guy you’ve been making cheeky eye contact with in your lectures. However, this doesn’t excuse calling her a “psycho”. Usually, girls get called “psychos” by guys who can’t handle their insecurities. So what if she calls him every night to see how he is? She obviously just cares a lot about him. If she’s not sending him envelopes filled with her discarded toenails, then she’s not a psycho.
5. To never blame the girl if a boy cheats on me. Again, HerCampus wants to make clear that hating the girl is so silly – us girls have to stick together! We aren’t saying that you have to become this girl’s best friend, but you should remember that it’s your boyfriend who has bitch slapped your heart. Don’t let the d**k dodge having 110% of the blame.
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6. To never compete with a friend for a guy. The cute guy from your seminar has been texting you non-stop, he’s oh-so-dreamy and hilariously charming. You decide that you need to show him off to your friends, and bring him round to your flat one night…only for your friend to take you aside and tell you that this is the same guy she has been flirting with for ages. What a conundrum. There are two options available here: you can either stomp off with Mr Dreamy, ignoring your friend, or you can realise that he’s a massive plonker to string along two fabulous girls. If he’s flirting with both of you then he probably isn’t head over heels infatuated with either of you, which is why you should both chuck him. Besides, we must remember the sacred Girl Gospel, which states: “chicks before d**ks”
7. To try not to bitch. The fact is, that gossiping can be fun (especially when you’re hearing embarrassing stories about that girl who looks at you like you’re the dirty pint in Ring of Fire). However, it’s important to remember that being gossiped about is NOT fun – think about Blair in Season One of Gossip Girl, when everyone finds out she’s been sleeping with Nate and Chuck (jealous? Us?), and she’s sent to Social Siberia. Gossiping about other girls simply isn’t nice.
8. To always try to cheer up those around me. Instead of spreading negativity by bitching about some girl’s latest sex-capades, we suggest that you try to be a positive influence on those around you. Make cups of tea for your friend who is ridiculously hungover after being a drunk skunk last night. Buy Ben & Jerry’s when your friend is crying over Jeff and his new hot girlfriend. Basically, just treat everyone with the same kindness you would want to be treated with.
9. To not get paraletically drunk every night. We all have at least one friend who doesn’t know where to stop after she’s started on the Sambuca shots (and if you don’t have one, then it’s probably you). Whilst being completely off your face is fun at the time – minus chundering in the Timepiece toilets and sending 30 texts to your ex-boyfriend – it’s really not fair to your friends! You become their primary-school sister who needs constant attention and, because of you, your best friend is never able pull because she’s always holding your hair and making you drink water!
10. To never leave a friend alone in the club to go home with a cute guy. If you’re in a group and you decide to go home with the guy who’s been grinding on you all night, then that’s totally fair enough. But when it’s just you and one of your friends dancing like loons at Arena on a Cheesy Tuesday, and you decide to go home with a guy, then it’s so unfair! And your friend won’t want to ‘c**k block’ (or, in this case, be a ‘vagina decliner’) so she can’t stop you from going off with him, and she is left to drown her sorrows in VKs. Don’t put your friend in that situation, or you’ll have more than a sore head to deal with the next morning.
Really, the key to being an awesome woman can be summed up here: Sisterhood Solidarity comes before anything else – whether that be controlling how much youdrink, or realising that no guy is worth ruining a fantabulous friendship over.
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