Sex can be fun. Sex can be hot. But unfortunately, sex can also be anything but sexy. So we’ve asked around and compiled some of our favorite snip-its of embarrassing Sewanee hookup stories that should put all your makeout mishaps in perspective.Â
“My boyfriend and I were having reunion sex and my hair got stuck in his dorm room fan. We had to stop and untangle my hair from it– quite the mood killer.”
“I hooked up with a guy after a Thursday night pledge event and he didn’t have a car so I did a walk of shame at 9am Friday morning with pledge gear and whipped cream in my hair.”
“I’ve fallen asleep at least three times mid-penetration.”
“I had a guy tell me, ‘I’m definitely not going to remember you tomorrow.’”
“I hooked up with a guy in his room and didn’t know until afterwards that his roommate was in the top bunk.”
“He was about to go down on me and the next thing I know, he falls off the bed and is on the floor. I couldn’t help but laugh. Dorm room twin beds will get ya every time.”
“We tried pouring chocolate sauce on each other and it was actually such a s***show. It went everywhere and it was all over my face, I looked absolutely ridiculous. We had to stop to clean it all up.”
“I had a guy whisper in my ear, ‘Now I want to play with you.’ It was honestly the creepiest line I’ve ever heard mid-hookup.”
“I was trying to give a really seductive lapdance and be really sensual, and I accidentally kneed him in the balls. I don’t even know how I managed to do that, like he looked like he was going to cry.”
“Once I was giving a guy head and I, um, came up for air, and I hit my head on the shelf above his bed so hard that I had a welt for a week.”
“I got a black eye when a guy head butted me during sex.”
“A guy was going down on me and–I s*** you not– sneezed all over me.”
“When I didn’t want to sexile my roommate on a Tuesday night, I hooked up with guy in Abbo’s Alley. It was quite uncomfortable. I would not suggest it.”
That’s what I’m talking about, ladies; let’s all keep up the good work. YSR