MTV’s Catfish never fails to entertain, as Nev and his sidekick, Max, try to solve mysteries of online relationships. The show is addictive, don’t get me wrong; but I think I’ve cracked the code. Every episode shares the same formula and something’s fishy (no pun intended). If you’re having a hard time remembering, here’s the top 10 “saw that one coming” moments in every episode of Catfish.
1. The person being ‘catfished’ is always talking to someone insanely attractive. Their selfie game is always on point and they happen to be a swimsuit model or aspiring rapper. Oh, and they usually only have one single picture of them. Quality over quantity?
2. The catfish claims to not have: a cellphone, landline, camera to video chat, computer, car, money, house, family, working left kidney, or any time in their hectic schedule of “being in the studio all day to record their mixtape” to meet up.
3. Nev and Max will use their access to the most advanced investigation technologies available. You guessed it – Google.
4. Max will walk around sporting his personal digital camera to feel special, but the show will never cut to anything he’s filmed. It’s probably not even charged and hasn’t been since Season 1, Episode 1. Poor guy.
5. The catfish tricks the person they’re talking to into sending large sums of money and gifts…and the person doesn’t hesitate to do so, which is the most concerning part. “I don’t know what your last name is, but here—take a check for $3,000 that I will mail to your disclosed address without thinking to find you on Google Maps.”
6. The catfish answers Nev’s phone call sounding super unsure if they’re “ready” to meet up. Then, Nev convinces them and they’re like, “I guess, maybe, sure. We should go somewhere semi-private but in a public setting, and boy do I have the place! I happen to know of this cool park in the vicinity that we can all go to tomorrow at 2:37pm.” Well played, definitely not planned in advance.
7. Even though the catfish has been avoiding the person they’ve been talking to for the past, 6 years, (not really, but still…), they immediately agree to meet up on national television. 15 minutes of fame, meet Craig from Milwaukee.
8. 99.99% of the time, the catfish is not the person they thought they were talking to. Shocking, I know. Most times, it’s a guy posing as a girl, or the opposite. And this just adds to the show because Nev and Max start berading the catfish on their sexuality…as if that’s the problem to get down to when dealing with a potential sociopathic pyschopath.
9. In the end, after the catfish denies doing anything wrong, they reveal an internal struggle that explains their actions and makes the audience not hate them for a small period of time. You feel sort of bad that Jim pretended to be Sally because of how bad he was bullied as a pre-teen for wearing glasses. The on-screen text always says that the catfish “has deleted all their fake profiles and is living life true to themselves.” But, what if Jim isn’t actually his real name and he’s just catfishing all of MTV? The world will never know.
10. And of course, it’s inevitable that Nev and Max will show their bromance in full throttle. Those who hunt down cyber identities together, stay together!