There are innumerable things that you will learn throughout your four years, but a lot of them have nothing to do with class material. Some of these things you’ll learn during orientation. Some of these things, you’ll learn too late. I’ve compiled for you all a selection of things that I wish I had known before they happened in the hopes that you all will avoid some of the stress that I was forced to endure my first year and more at college!
One of the most important things that it took me far too long to learn is that the friends that you make during orientation week, and even for your first year, are not necessarily going to be (and don’t have to be) your friends for life. They don’t even have to be your friends for all of college. You’ll branch out and meet new people through classes and clubs and at parties and by accident! You don’t have to cling to that one group because you’re afraid they’re all you’ll ever have. I promise you they’re not. Don’t stay friends with people that aren’t good friends because you’re afraid of not having any. If they drink and you’re not comfortable with it, if they’re mean to you or other people and you don’t like it, if they do anything that puts you off? Break away. It will be okay. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but eventually it will work out and you’ll be happier for it.
Going along with that theme, it’s okay to cut harmful people out of your life. You are the most important thing and you don’t need to worry about their feelings here. Yours are what matter the most; don’t suffer for the sake of others that don’t deserve it.
Another thing that I wish I’d been able to grasp early on is that you and your roommate do not have to be BFFs. You don’t even necessarily have to be friends. You just have to get along. Don’t try to force a friendship where there isn’t one, but make an effort to be civil with one another; don’t be the one causing problems. Stewing in hatred of one another will only make things awkward and uncomfortable, and that’s the last thing either of you want your living space to be. It’s nice if you can watch movies or go to dinner every now and again, but it’s not a requirement. You just have to be able to live together.
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In some situations, it’s okay to be pushy. If a teacher or administrator or partner continue to brush you off, bombard them. Just do it, and never let them push you to the side. My Calc 2 grade suffered severely because I didn’t send any follow-ups to the woman in charge of assigning tutoring. I trusted that she would find me someone and she didn’t. I didn’t get a personal tutor until just before the final, and I got a C-. Barely. I was embarrassed and ashamed of myself, and if I had just emailed her again, and again, until she helped me I believe I would have done far better. If someone is getting in the way of you succeeding, do something about it.
Mental health days are important and encouraged, but don’t take them on test or presentation days.
Nobody ever uses the library until finals week. Find other hidden study spots and get to them early because, come the last week of the semester, you will not be able to find a seat.
Last minute is not going to fly like it did in high school. Take an hour each night to go over your notes for the day, and a couple on the weekends to go over your notes for the week, so that it stays fresh and you’re not up until 4 cramming the night before the exam.
Your advisor is there to help you, but what he says is not the be-all, end-all. Don’t let him tell you that you’re not good enough and don’t let him talk you into changing your goals. That’s not for him to decide, and unfortunately I let mine tear me down and get it through my head that I’d never be what I wanted and I’m just now starting to believe in myself again. You’ll be a lot happier a lot sooner if you don’t ever let those words affect you.
Those friends that I mentioned earlier? The real ones? They’re there to help you. That’s what friends do. If something is wrong don’t hide it from them. Don’t pretend like everything is okay, whether it’s because you’re a private person or you’re afraid of bothering them. Let them in! They want to know and they want to help because they love you.
My college, Siena, is not a college town. Nothing about Siena is going to be like it is in the movies.
Foy is hotter than hell and that never, ever changes. Dress accordingly.
The gym is virtually empty from 10 to lunch and after lunch to 4ish.
The seniors seem scary. Sometimes they want you to think they’re scary. They’re not.