One of the defining moments of my summer was meeting my new beau through my favorite social network, Tumblr. Luckily we didn’t live far from each other and could spend a lot of time together before school started for the both of us. We weren’t so lucky because we don’t go to the same school; which forces us to go down the loathed long-distance relationship route. Is it worth it? Can the relationship still sustain and grow under unfavorable circumstances? If you’re in a long distance relationship or contemplating starting one here are some ways to keep the spark alive from afar!
1. Communication
Knowing how to communicate with your sweetie can make the distance feel endearing or dreadful. Phone dates after a long day, Skype or FaceTime, or even short messages in between classes can let your significant other know you’re thinking of them. Being that listening ear or shoulder to lean on when studies get rough or lonely nights settle in can reassure them that distance makes the heart grow fonder.
2. Know Yourself
Although a relationship should include both parties, no one knows you better than you. If your mindset is “out of sight out of mind” long distance relationships may not be for you. Focusing on your personal life and studies while away at school may be your main focus once summer is over. Your priorities are intact, but a boo may not factor in and that’s okay! Relate back to number one and communicate with your partner that you come first and try to come to a mutual understanding—it will benefit the both of you!
3. Spending Time Together
One weekend I got a surprise visit from my beau all because I told him how much I missed him! Fortunately, my apartment was clean and I didn’t look too rough. Spontaneity keeps the relationship fresh but not everyone likes surprises or has the means to travel long distances to see their partner on a whim. Plan to spend time together over long weekends, holidays or even breaks. Make sure you keep each other in mind; their favorite things, special events, and travel times to ensure enough quality time is spent together.
4. Be Each Other’s Cheerleader
We all know how stressful school, work or both can be so instead of adding stress, support your honey in their efforts. If he/she can’t make your phone date tonight because they have a big biology test to study for don’t hold it against them, give them time to study! Even if she takes a double shift and takes longer than normal to respond to your texts—who knows maybe the extra cash is going towards an “I miss you” gift! Patience and understanding the small but key things go a long way in any relationship.
5. Trust
There is nothing worse than being with someone you can’t trust, especially when you can’t see them on a regular basis. In a college setting going to parties, clubs or bars should be expected—unless you are a recluse like me. Resorting back to number one and communicating with your partner that you want to go out and have fun can eliminate any secrecy or worry. Going as far as telling your partner every guy/girl that looks in your direction may be excessive; but maintaining a healthy level of honesty keeps both parties happy and in the loop!
6. Have Fun
Above all else remember to have fun. Spend time with your friends eating froyo and going on mani/pedi dates. Take time to yourself to catch up on your favorite shows, do a sugar scrub and relax in a bath. Going to the gym to take a PiYo class to have a good workout and relax. Remember all the summer nights you and your partner spent laughing over funny Vines or even reminiscing on how you met! Share your thoughts on each other before the “getting to know you” stage, or even listening to each other breathe over the phone while appreciating how happy you are (is that weird)!?
Relationships are made for growth between two people who genuinely care for one another. They should never be a task on your to-do list or a hardship that drains you. Adding distance to the mix can make things a little more difficult than they have to be but if both parties put in an equal amount of effort, the odds will forever be in your favor!
HCXO!