Your eyes dart apart and your mind is a haze. Pieces of the night before begin to come back as you create a mismatched series of events in your mind. Your groggy brain tries to make sense of last night, but the only thing that is clear is the splitting pain between your ears. Congratulations, you are hungover.
Most likely more than a few of us have found ourselves in that very situation. Your body is now forced to pay the price for your lack of judgment. A hangover is simply your body ridding itself of the alcohol left inside you and makes you experience a very hasty withdrawal.
But just wait, that’s not the only thing you have to recover from. You turn to your left and remember the person sleeping beside you. Maybe a result of a one night stand, a friend with benefits situation or just a classic booty call. I know it may be the normal first reaction to be excited from sex because getting laid is seen as an accomplishment, a triumph and a validation of sorts. Casual sex is nothing but instant gratification. It is no different than taking that last shot at the bar for a rush of warmth through your veins. It makes you feel good for a moment, but the next morning there’s a good chance you’ll feel sick because of it.
It’s common knowledge that the partying lifestyle eventually catches up to people. The alcohol, drugs and late nights start to rear their evil heads in the form of bad skin, extra pounds and lack of energy. The life of constant hangovers eventually takes a toll on our health and can destroy us physically. That’s not news, but what if casual hookups can have the same effect on us emotionally?
Rewind back to that sleeping person in your bed. Maybe you have a past with the person but are just using each other for sex. Maybe your late night dalliance was just a result of drunken bar behavior. Either way you now have slept with someone you have no emotional connection with and will most likely continue to have no emotional connection with. You and your partner have been together in one of the most intimate ways only to say your goodbyes and part ways the next day. For many this is a common and normal practice. You go out, get drunk and hopefully get laid. We all have sexual needs and in today’s culture it is not necessary to be in a relationship with someone to have those needs met.
As a college senior I have witnessed pretty much every scenario when it comes to hooking up. There’s the 2am booty call partners, the used to date but now only have sex partners, the friends with benefits partners and the one night stand partners. After spending three years in a world where hormones are raging, alcohol is readily accessible and casual sex is rampant I have one conclusion about it all: it seems empty.
The types of partners may be diverse, but the fact that they are rarely happy with the arrangement is common. And what is more common is that the “arrangements” rarely seem to end well. Best case scenario it is a crazy story you can tell for years to come, but worst case scenario is you have trouble looking at yourself in the mirror.
I am going to make a statement that some may call outlandish and many may call old-fashioned: sex isn’t meant to be void of emotion. I think it is impossible to share a sexual bond without developing some feelings for the person. Whether those feelings are temporary or lasting may vary from case to case. I know that the trend is “YOLO” and “live in the moment” and I think that’s all well and good. It’s good to have fun and incredible when we truly feel alive. But what does it say about us as a culture that we take one of the most intimate bonds and use it in such a casual way? Every time you are close with someone either sexually or emotionally you open yourself to another person and inevitably give a small piece of yourself away to that person. What makes relationships special is the give and take and the constant growing and learning between two people. I don’t think we as humans were meant to go 0 to 100 emotionally or sexually with each other because it naturally confuses the brain and more importantly the heart.
Letting loose is always fun, but just as we guard what we drink to protect our health I think we should guard our bodies to protect our emotional health. Because an alcohol hangover might be easy to shake, but the constant giving of yourself to people who care little about you is bound to have damaging effects.