College can be exhausting. You want me to, like, earn a diploma? Now? I can’t even trust myself to get everything on my grocery list. How do you expect me to fit all these requirements into my schedule? You’re just trying to stay afloat. And sometimes that means retreating to the life of a hermit — or one resembling that of slacker lazy-lifestyle-pro, Nick Miller.
1. When your friends/roommates ask why you don’t get out of the house.
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2. Why would you go out to awkwardly dance at some over-crowded bar when you could just moonwalk away from your problems in the comfort of your own home?
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3. And sometimes you just need to be alone, but people don’t get it.
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4. You’re totally independent. Like, you can totally, totally afford to do things on your own. Whenever, wherever. Totally.
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5. This reading is how long? And the teacher scanned it all slanted and I have to turn my head a weird way just to try and figure it out? Are you serious?
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6. You try to stay fit, but the gym makes you think of all the food you’re not eating.
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7. You’ve given up on trying to grasp a concept that your professor is teaching. You’re just going to take their word for it and hope for the best.
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8. Which is hard, because college has turned you into an *ahem* educated individual who will question every aspect of society, and you’ll be sure to prove it.
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9. You try to explain to others that you do more than just consume coffee just to stay upright before retreating to your cave-person-like state. But if you’re being honest with yourself, being a lazy bum isn’t a phase. It’s just who you are.
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10. And when it comes to getting through, you may have mountains of student debt, your car may be falling apart and you may have little to no groceries in the fridge, but things like finding a parking spot and scrounging up just enough nickels for a coffee keep ya goin’.
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