Around this time last year, one of my best friends from high school and I were diligently working on our final project for our English class; a video compiled of silent, whiteboard-answered interviews focusing on personal strengths, weaknesses, anxieties and goals. We asked questions like “What do you like about yourself?”, “What do you dislike about yourself?” and “What are you most proud of?”, among others. People were hesitant to respond at first, but with a little coaxing, they opened up and willfully gave us deeply personal answers. Naturally, the interviewers also had to be interviewees, so I took a stab at answering a question, too. The prompt that was given to me was “What is your biggest insecurity?” After pretending to think for a brief moment, yet knowing my answer immediately, I wrote down “not being good enough.”
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I’m not sure exactly when the demon that is self-doubt first crept into my life and manifested itself there. It was probably sometime in middle school, when competition over petty matters became an everyday theme among my pre-pubescent peers. Of course, insecurities throughout life (and especially in middle school) are completely normal, however, my insecurity, by the time I reached high school, had evolved into something much bigger. So, now I consider myself an expert on the subject.
Without going into too much detail about my own experience because it is very personal, I will say this; I have been, and still am, although it has gotten significantly better, fairly constantly worried that no matter how hard I try, I am not good enough. I know that many of you probably have similar feelings. Whether it’s about school, a relationship, a job, etc., I want you to know, right here and now, that no matter what someone says or does to you, you are good enough. No matter what grade you get on a test, you are good enough. No matter how small, insignificant, ugly, worthless, dumb you are made to feel, you are good enough. And not only are you good enough, but you are important, beautiful, smart, talented and so amazingly and perfectly you.
Eleanor Roosevelt once said “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent,” and that very appropriately applies here. It doesn’t matter whether your self-doubts stem from how others treat you or your own perception of yourself. If you give consent for the world to weigh its troubles, unkind words and strife on you, it will do just that. If you let your demons do the same, they will establish dominance and not leave until you vanquish them. I promise you, though, that you can do it. And please don’t think that I’m blaming you for your doubts, because I’m not. Rather, I am explaining that the only one who can really and truly save yourself is yourself. I promise you, you can do it. I believe that with all of my being.
It’s tough to take your own advice. I’m one of those somewhat hypocritical people who can dish out words of wisdom like they’re stuffing on Thanksgiving Day, but not acknowledge them myself. However, much like my feelings of inadequacy, this is getting better, too. If you also have trouble taking your own advice, never fear, there are means of helping you get there. I, for example, like to take some time for myself and do something fun that I really enjoy. Practicing self-love is key. Whatever that is for you; writing, singing, hiking, listening to music, playing with your dogs- do it. It will give you a chance to re-evaluate and hopefully make you feel better.
Always remember that no matter how bad you feel, it will get better. No one should be able to make you feel any less than you are. Take a second to love yourself. Realize that you are worthwhile! Hugs and love to you all!
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