Going the Distance: Long Distance Relationships
By Amy Garling
There is a famous saying that goes: “distance makes the heart grow fonder” and whether or not this saying is true can be debated. But distance can show how committed you are to the relationship and what your goals are within the relationship. When I interviewed four people who are in long distance relationships, all of them said that video chatting is very helpful because face-to-face time is very important and that anticipating the next time they see each other helped get them through each day.
Gabe Clymer has been dating his fiancée for the past 15 months, and normally sees her every four to six weeks. They live four hours away from each other when they are both in college. When they go weeks without seeing each other, Clymer finds support and encouragement in relying on the Lord and staying focused on God. Song of Solomon is a good book in the Bible to read, providing encouragement and guidance for dating and marriage. It takes maturity, patience, trust and security to maintain a long distance relationship. The distance also helps determine if you are “in it for the right reasons.” Clymer says, “I’m graduating as soon as possible so I can marry that chick.”
Matt Rice has a similar goals in mind, and plans on moving closer to his girlfriend after she graduates from college. Rice says “You see if it is time to take the next step, ultimately just moving closer for now.” They have been dating for the past 25 months, 19 months of dating long distance, and see each other every three to eight weeks. It helps him to know that the long distance relationship is only temporary, and he looks forward to the future with his girlfriend. This shows that you must be an independent person because most of the time you will not be there physically for each other.
Rice’s coworker Mark is also in a long distance relationship and has been dating his girlfriend for the past 6 years. They have only seen each other a handful of times because she lives in the Ukraine and he lives in North Carolina. Mark believes that making “time to talk via Vider or Skype as often as possible,” can go a long way in their relationship. He also goes on to say that, “You have to have a lot of trust in each other. A lot of good open, honest conversations help too.”
Cat Kelly has been dating her boyfriend for the past six months, and gets to see him once a month. She says that trust, communication and patience are very important in their relationship because you can’t check up on each other all the time. Kelly says that, “The only thing you have is your words, so you have to be really open,” it is harder to show the person how much you care through actions because you cannot give them a hug and a kiss every day, make them breakfast, or even surprise them while they are at work. After Kelly graduates in May she plans on traveling to Wyoming for the summer to be closer to her boyfriend.
If you are serious about your relationship and not just floating from one partner to the next then you have a better change at a long distance relationship. It can also help significantly if you look at the overall picture, that the distance is not permanent, only temporary.