Dear Ex-Partner,
I want to say “hello from the other side” of our relationship. You and I just reached the very end of the semester and along with our breakup came the domino effect: it all started crashing down and now there is an ocean’s worth of oozing emotion, vulnerability, and mania everywhere. Typically, people tend to know me as a girl with a hard outer shell. And that’s how I’ve been playing it off. I have found writing to be a more comforting way to say what needs to be said so thank you Her Campus U Mich for giving me this outlet because I feel like I can reach all of the girls out there who are currently in the same boat as I am.
To you, my love: we do not hate each other. In fact, I think we feel just the opposite of that. Do you remember the end of our relationship? I do. For the first time I felt like we began to instigate fights with one another. Old feelings of passion and intimacy suddenly began to fade as we channeled our anger into one another. Tell yourself what you want. You might say I became angry, harsh, and intense. I might say well, you became selfish. Let’s drop those arguments though because they aren’t true. At the end of the day it made it easier for us to part and now I’m standing here by myself and wishing we had not done just that. Just remember that I am still that happy-go-lucky, loveable girl you used to call your best friend.
Thank you, my ex, for all that you have taught me. Whether it included picking up the bill for me, our many romantic brunches, your finding stupid ways to make me laugh, or constantly listening to me whine, by doing all of this you raised my standards. You taught me what it felt like to be respected, to have somebody care.
It’s because of you that I am now a more selfless person. Having someone I cared about so much made me realize that another person’s needs sometimes may be more important than your own. At the same time, we are merely college students and college is a time to be selfish. I did something selfish, and I’m sorry. I left you. But I did not ask you to stay with me. I took that lesson that I learned from you and applied it right to the situation. Although it hurts like hell, I did it for you.
Most importantly, you taught me what love feels like. You found a best friend in me and I found one right back in you. And the truth is, no matter how hard I tell myself this is not true, you made me feel things I cannot feel with anyone else. And this is why you will forever hold a special place in my heart.
There may be “a difference between us and a million miles” but I want to thank you, my best friend, the guy with the most beautiful eyes, the perfect smile, and, most importantly, the biggest heart, for everything. Don’t forget me.
Image courtousy of: amazon, deviantart