1. They weren’t kidding when they said Lady Gaga was at the Golden Globes?
2. Wait- the woman who showed up to the Grammy’s in a freakin’ egg just beat out Queen Latifah?
3. Did she just grab my ass?
4. Holy crap! Am I the only one who sees that there’s clearly a rare 4 oz. t-bone attached to the back of this woman’s dress?
5. That bump definitely just made me pee a little.
6. THAT’S GAGA!? Now it makes sense why “Kate” was so creeped out when I tried serenading her with “My Heart Will Go On” as we walked inside.
7. Did she just fart the tune of “Bad Romance?”
8. Did I just fart?
9. **Realizes I’ve been nominated for an Oscar 5x and still haven’t won**
10. Have I not hit on her yet?
11. Is she the only female in this place I haven’t hit on?
12. Have I still not won a freakin’ Oscar?
Images courtesy of: Vanity Fair and Giphy