Trigger warnings: bullying, anorexia, eating disorders
Chances are you have heard the term “fat-shaming” thrown around on the Internet these days, but do you know what the term really means? There is a high chance that you’ve witnessed fat-shaming, been a victim of it or participated in it, even unknowingly. Unfortunately, the culture we’re living in often values thinness above all other traits. Fat-shaming is a huge problem that many people don’t realize they’re contributing to. A few students revealed their thoughts on and experiences with fat-shaming.
What is fat-shaming and what does it look like?
Fat-shaming comes in many shapes and sizes. Anyone can be fat-shamed, not just plus-sized people, and not just women. Any comments that imply someone’s weight is the predominant factor in judging their beauty or self-worth are participating in fat-shaming. Emerson junior Mary Jo perfectly defines it as “being treated negatively based solely on how much a person weighs.”
Fat-shaming can be subtle or look as obvious as the bullying of elementary school. Mary Jo explains: “The very first time I was picked on about my weight (that I can remember) I was 8 years old. I was always a little chubby, and this boy told me that since I was the fattest kid in class, I would be the anchor in tug of war.”
For junior Jennifer, the tale is sadly similar. “I remember one of my ‘friends’ telling me about an instance of a boy I knew making fun of me for my size. He had been overheard telling his friend, who I had a crush on at the time, that I was a whale and that I was nothing but a fat know-it-all,” she says.
Unfortunately, this bullying doesn’t stay on the playground but translates in smaller ways in our adult world. For David, a junior, he sees it on the dating scene. He says, “I have been fat-shamed. Not as directly as most people, but when I use any form of dating app or website, I keep seeing all these guys wanting chiseled abs or muscles, and they explicitly state ‘no chubs’ or ‘no fats,’ like I’m a different, lesser person just because I’m overweight.”
The discrimination can be even more subtle: “An occasion that most people don’t realize but does actually count as fat shaming is refusing to sit next to a fat person,” says Mary Jo. “On a fully packed train someone would rather stand then sit next to me.”
Fat-shaming can come from anyone, even from parents who “mean well” when they attempt to prompt weight loss, but it’s important to note that health and low weight are not always synonymous.
What are the consequences?
The issues with fat-shaming are wide and varied. For one, it perpetuates a culture that implies beautiful is the same as thin. Phrases like “‘No! Don’t say you’re fat, you’re so beautiful!’” are toxic, explains Paige, who is currently on a gap year. Her response to such comments is, “Yeah. I am. I’m gorgeous, and I’m bodacious. Look at my tummy; I’m cute as all heck.”
For some, instances of fat-shaming were the beginnings of battles with eating disorders. An incident with a middle school bully was the “catalyst of a now 7-year battle with anorexia,” according to Jennifer. Fat-shaming, perpetuated by the lack of diverse bodies in media, is often the trigger to eating disorders and other mental health problems.
What can YOU do to help combat fat-shaming?
The first step is to mind your own business when it comes to other people’s weight. If someone needs or wants to lose weight they are already aware of it, so there’s no need to bring it up. In addition, remind yourself that “fat” is not a dirty word and it shouldn’t be used in that way; it is simply a physical trait, and not one that should be the basis for liking or disliking someone.
It’s also important to check that you aren’t fat-shaming yourself unknowingly. Bustle has a great article explaining how you can recognize this. Remember that fat is not a feeling; fat is something someone has, not something someone feels and it is okay if your body has it.
It’s hard not to compare ourselves or others to the bodies we see in the media, but it’s important that we try not to. “Just get out of the house. Look at people outside of Netflix and Abercrombie & Fitch catalogs. See average people and how they really are,” says David.
“Self-love is a huge thing that can help put an end to fat-shaming,” says Jennifer. “If more people stopped worrying about magazine covers and the sizes of models and more about feeling good about themselves they wouldn’t feel a need to put others down. There would be no need to shame others for not looking a stereotypical way, but rather a need to praise everyone for being and loving themselves.”
Of course, the issues within the media are part of a larger problem, but the environment is slowly making a change toward greater body acceptance. More and more plus-sized models are appearing on magazine covers, and celebrities are forgoing Photoshop. In the meantime, remember that all bodies are beautiful, and that no matter your size you are a gorgeous, valued human.