Shyness is often wrongly seen as a disadvantage in todays world of communication. This can make life for shy people even more difficult, on top of the already painful experiences of social anxiety, public speaking, group work and so on. Thanks to a common negative perception of shyness, we criticise ourselves for being introverted far too often, when actually there are a lot more benefits to being shy than we give ourselves credit for.
I, along with so many others, am extremely shy. I probably always will be. But in my opinion, shyness should no longer be a flaw that we have to work on. It should instead be looked upon as it is; a perfectly normal personality trait.
So, for those times when you find yourself having a ‘whats wrong with me?’ moment, I’m here to tell you a few of the reasons why there is actually nothing wrong with you at all.
1. You understand people in a deeper way.
Shy people are natural listeners, and experts at people watching. By being on the edge of a conversation, we get to see everything as a whole, and pick up on small things that most people miss. This ability allows us to gain greater insight into the behaviour, motivations, and minds of those around us. Many shy people possess this heightened empathy, meaning they can learn an individuals traits much quicker than others; it’s sort of like a super power!
Being more understanding is beneficial because it can be put to good use. By listening carefully to people, we can help them feel appreciated and accepted – something which everyone loves to feel. And the knowledge that your listening skills can comfort another person makes being the quiet one of the group very rewarding.
2. You catch the imagination of people around you.
If theres one thing that shy people hate to be called, its boring. People who don’t know us very well may mistake quietness for having boring personality, but, believe me, they are far from correct. Nobody is boring, and shy people are no exception. Furthermore, people are instinctively intrigued by the mysteriousness that surrounds quiet and guarded people. They want to decode and break through the walls. Sometimes the very act of being mysterious makes people interact with you more than others, and when you’re shy, the thought of a person trying to ‘break you out of your shell’ can be very uncomfortable. But think about it, they wouldn’t even bother talking to you if they didn’t find your mysteriousness appealing, so this is a good thing. The imagination of other people who don’t yet know you is another thing that works in our favour, it draws attention to us when we’re not even trying.
3. You’re independent.
Shy people often find themselves alone in situations. It’s true that there is nothing we love more than a bit of me time, however doing things on our own can sometimes make us feel stressed, embarrassed or left out, but there is absolutely no reason to feel this. These experiences force us to figure things out for ourselves, adapt to new situations and in turn make us super self-sufficient people. Having this quality makes us easy to hang out with, as we’re not a needy burden on anyone and can totally deal with new experiences. So next time you’re travelling, going to the cinema, or eating in a restaurant on your own, hold your strong independent head high and be proud of yourself for it!
4. You’re more likeable.
One great advantage of being shy is appearing non-threatening. Along with the fact that we think more cautiously before we speak. This means there is less chance of social conflicts and negative confrontations. The fact that we speak less makes us become more mindful of the words we use, and this in turn makes us appear very polite and considerate of others. Shy people also bring a calmness with them, which can also greatly increase our likability.
5. You’re not expected to do anything that you don’t want to do.
It took me a long time to get over the fact that by being a shy person, I’m just not going to be invited out to places and events as much as my louder counterparts. I used to feel personally offended whenever this happened, but now I know that it is an advantage. If people are not inviting you out, the likelihood is it isn’t because they don’t like you, but it’s because they are unsure if you would want to join in, as they know you are shy. This works in our favour. This is because if there is something that you want to do, all you have to do is make it obvious that you’re interested, and you’ll definitely get to join in. But when you get invited to something that is really not your cup of tea, you can politely decline the offer without offending anyone. You see, if people think you’re shy then they will understand why you aren’t being social and won’t feel insulted when you’re keeping to yourself. Shyness definitely has its perks.
I hope this article gives you a new way of looking at your shyness. Instead of trying to find ways to overcome it, embrace it, and love it, because it’s just another awesome part of who you are!