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Being Vulnerable Does Not Make Me Weak

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Alexis DiZenzo Student Contributor, Fairfield University
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Gabriella Restivo Student Contributor, Fairfield University
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Fairfield chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

Our generation by no means has it easy when it comes to dating and being in a relationship. A stereotype has been set in our heads that all guys are assholes and all girls are just crazy. As girls, we tend to always put up a front when it comes to guys because no one wants to put themselves out there when there is a chance a guy can take control of your heart; and no one wants to seem “crazy,” so we keep to ourselves and avoid catching feelings at all costs.

Sure, that boy in your Italian class is really cute but you can’t let him know that you think that. We have a natural instinct to not put ourselves out there because there is that fear of being hurt. That fear comes from all the crazy expectations, stereotypes and unrealistic ideas our society has created for dating. We believe in this unrealistic world where everyone we meet is going to hurt us because guys only have one intention. Women feel that they can’t be viewed as weak, but we need to stop believing that being vulnerable makes us weak. Throughout my fair share of relationships and unofficial flings, I’ve come to the realization that being vulnerable has allowed me to grow as a person and open up my heart more. I think that makes the heartbreak and burst of emotions that come with being vulnerable all worth it.

I have nothing against “girl power,” and being independent because I 100% feel that all young women should be. No one needs to be in a relationship, and it is totally okay to be single, but we should never feel that we need to be on our own because we don’t want to seem weak or vulnerable. We associate weakness with vulnerability and that should not be the case. What is the point of being a heartless b*tch, as our society likes to call it and not allowing anyone into our lives? How will you meet anyone you could possibly love that way?  I’ve always been vulnerable, I’ve always put myself out there, and have opened my heart up to the wrong people. I’ve had my fair share of tears and moments where I’ve wondered “How can I give so much, and get so little in return?” I’ve questioned how I could be so stupid to think that everyone has the same heart that I do. I’ve realized I’m not stupid or weak. I’m stronger than I know sometimes.

Not every guy is bad, not everyone is going to hurt you. Things aren’t going to work out sometimes and that is okay. But having fear that being vulnerable will make you weak should never be part of one’s mindset, and I’m not talking about just relationships but anything in life. Sometimes you really do need to open up and be vulnerable in order to get what you want. A majority of things in life are a chase.

Being vulnerable does not mean giving up your strength, it means that you are strong enough to let people have a piece of your heart without fear of what will happen to that piece; and that is truly a powerful thing. Heartbreak makes you stronger, learning how to deal with your emotions makes you a stronger person, and being vulnerable leaves you with an open heart free to catch anything. 

Alexis DiZenzo is a motivated Connecticut native. She attends Fairfield University where she is majoring in digital journalism and minoring in marketing. She is currently co-campus corespondent of Fairfield's Her Campus chapter. Along with managing Her Campus Fairfield, Alexis has interned with The Secured Lender Magazine, and NBC Sports. She is a contributing writer for Elite Daily as well as Thought Catalog. In the early stages of her college career, Alexis has taken the initiative to reach far among the stars and achieve goals early on. She has a great sense of editing, writing, publishing, marketing and leadership as well as strong interpersonal skills. (And a fun-loving, outgoing personality!) Alexis' favorite book (and movie) is The Great Gatsby, she lives by the words of Carrie Bradshaw and you could definitely find her on a beach, soaking up the sun.
Instagram @alexisdizenzo www.alexisfdizenzo.com
Gabriella is currently a junior at Fairfield University, where she is majoring in Marketing and minoring in Communications. She is Co-Campus Correspondent of Her Campus Fairfield with her roomie/best friend Pamela Grant! Gab can most likely be found with a Venti Starbs in hand, while wearing obnoxiously large sunnies (no shame), reading the most recent issue of Glamour Mag.